Earlier this week my youngest, Seth, got in the car after baseball practice and instead of his normal jovial self he was sullen and on the verge of a colossal melt down. “What’s wrong?” I asked, assuming the coach got on to him at practice.
“Nothing! I’m fine, just go!” he spat out with his bottom lip quivering.
That was my cue to hightale it out of there before the tears came so the rest of the boys wouldn’t see. We drove in silence for a few minutes before I couldn’t take it any longer. “Okay, now, tell me what happened or I’ll just call the coach and ask him myself.”
The dam broke and the tears flowed. “I don’t like my team! I don’t want to play with kids that aren’t nice.”
I could feel the heat rise up my neck. “What happened?” I ventured, keeping my voice soft.
Names are changed as I continue… and keep in mind its a baseball team so I have to be creative because there is every name in the book on the team! 😉 “Bubba grabbed my side and said, ‘look at that flab!’ then he got a little kid to come and grab me too.” 🙁
I was incensed. Seth has always been a bigger kid in BOTH height and weight and every year we go through this because we get put on a team that the kids don’t know Seth (because he is from a private school and most of them are at the public school together) and for whatever reason one kid feels the need to point out this difference. What kills me is knowing how this affects Seth internally in a place that I can’t console or mend.
Neal and I both try to do the best at parenting in this situation by encouraging him to stick up for himself, brush the kid off, walk away, if it comes down to it, stand his full height and let him know that his power/strength isn’t to be diminished by one kid’s careless comment.
The interesting fact is when I spoke to the coach about this (because I feel that since we are in the beginning of the season that a sense of team camaraderie needs to be met…which he fully agreed) the coach knows the kid in question and says the very same kid gets teased about his lack of height. Proves the point we gave to Seth that typically those that want to point out our ‘supposed’ faults are suffering from their own insecurities.
“Bubba’s” father found out and apologized profusely and said he had pointed that very fact out too…giving the lesson of ‘Do onto others what you would want done to you.’ So what happened the very next practice? Seth and ‘Bubba’ got along fine…teamed up as partners in practice. Go figure. 😉 I’m proud of them BOTH. And…at the game last night Seth hit a 3 RBI which won them the game. 🙂 There is a lot of POWER in him. LOL
With this in mind I found it interesting what my devotional from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young said today: “Beware of seeing yourself through other people’s eyes….the major problem with letting others define you is that it borders on idolatry. Your concern to please others dampens your desire to please ME, your Creator. It is much more real to see yourself through My Eyes. My gaze upon you is steady and sure, untainted by sin. Through my eyes you can see yourself as one who is deeply, eternally loved.”
Don’t look to others to ‘see’ you…your image in Christ is all that matters.
Blessings
Shannon
