2012 is at an end and I’m GLAD. 🙂 I can’t say that it was the worst year because it wasn’t. I’ve lived through worse. I can’t say it was the best year because I have definitely had more memorable moments. I will say it was a personal challenge.
Beginning Hopeful Hearts Ministry then finding out that my publisher was associated with a religious ‘hate for Jesus’ cult and having to re-publish EXPOSED lent for some stressful moments. There is so much MORE that comes from all of this and that is what makes 2013 exciting and enticing.
What will each day reveal? 😉 Neal and I are near completion of our book ‘REDEEMED’. The Audio book for EXPOSED will be released in January. Neal and I will be speaking together at a couples event for the first time (pray for us!) :). The Hopeful Hearts survivors charm will be created. My oldest will begin high school…(augh!!!). And I’m going to be 40…….
2013, I’d like to think it’s going to be a year of blessings through growth and achievement.
So be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Just Show Up blog and receive the DAILY email. I will do my best to make each daily entry short, sweet and hopefully either encouraging, inspiring or possibly thought provoking. 😉
As a THANK YOU for your dedicated support, prayers and readership I wanted to include in this last entry for 2012 a snippet of Ch. 1 from our book REDEEMED: (Unedited, ROUGH DRAFT, first version)
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Abuse is a delicate word. I’m both a survivor of and an inflictor. Abuse encompasses shame, un-worth, hurt, rage, regret, resentment, insecurity, pain, revenge, retaliation, selfishness, weakness and desire. No one likes to talk about what has been done to them when another unleashes these emotions through sex, molestation, verbal attacks, degrading, or even neglect.
Why don’t we talk about what has been done to us? Is it because we see how we have turned around and inflicted our own emotions onto another in retaliation of what has been done? It’s a vicious cycle.
Abuse will stop if it is confronted.
You will heal when you talk about what causes you to feel shame, un-worth, hurt, rage, regret, resentment, insecurity, pain, and revenge.
Neal and I have been redeemed of our inflections. God has set us free to love unselfishly and work at stopping the vicious cycle of past abuse in our lives. We invite you along on our journey not to be voyeurs in our most intimate (and somewhat shameful) moments but to encourage you to walk away from the abuse and learn to live as a survivor – free.
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It is clearly Shannon’s gift to be the one to recount our journey together but a forewarning – she can be dramatic. Simply put – she is a woman and I am a man. Sometimes we see things differently. The way I see my past or even present is ‘it is what it is’. That’s it. Shannon asked me to offer my insights so you’ll see I’m not as descriptive but I think she’s got that covered. My prayer is you will not judge our past but be encouraged by the journey.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: You are mine.”
Isaiah 43:1
BE MY PROTECTOR
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
Debonair in his black, crisp tux, freshly shaven face, piercing blue eyes and white as cotton hair, my father leaned over and asked, “Are you ready?”
Holding an elegant arrangement of calla lilies in my left hand I linked my right hand through the crook of his arm. I was fitted in the dress literally inspired by my dreams. Pearl white silk, delicate stitching along the hem and mirrored above along the top of the sleeveless bodice. The cathedral train was spread out behind me and the doors to my future were ready to be opened. I looked at my dad and felt like I was ten again, holding his hand as we spent a day being buddies, collecting rent from the college students who lived in the houses he owned near the university, visiting his friend’s junk yard and eating the juiciest hamburger in town. There was nothing in running errands with my dad that would entice a young girl except to spend the day with the man she loved the most.
“I love you, Dad.” I responded but I didn’t answer his question. I couldn’t. I wasn’t certain I was ready and if I said anything at all it might be a lie and I didn’t want to start my future out with a lie.
For once in Dad’s life he was at a loss for words. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and the wedding march began. The doors opened wide and 350 expectant faces turned in my direction, all eyes were on me but all I could see was the smile on Neal’s face. His dark brown hair was perfectly groomed, a smile spread across his face from ear to ear, lighting up his brown, almond shaped eyes, the same eyes that retained acceptance and patience despite my many flaws.
This is it. This is for life. Am I ready? “No,” the answer came fleetingly like a minuscule breeze from butterfly’s wings as it fluttered by and out of view. I love him and that is all that matters, I thought and focused on the man before me that had chosen to love me regardless of my brokenness and scarred past.
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Enjoy the last of 2012 and welcome in 2013 with open arms.
Blessings
Shannon