We are coming to the end of our mini-vacation and though I am enjoying the company of my husband and my friends I am also distracted by this looming deadline. I asked for the deadline because I work better if I know someone is waiting on it but I also press my luck and tend to find myself in overdrive a few days before the deadline.
Speaking of pressing my luck, we chose not to enter the Poker Tournament because it meant if just one of us continued going they’d be stuck in it for awhile. I was secretly happy with this decision because the area we went to play in the Downtown Freemont Street area was SMOKEY. I didn’t realize how spoiled I’d become by ‘no smoking’ restaurants in our area.
We decided to play a $5 Craps table and we were doing well until I started rolling. I wasn’t doing too bad but apparently my dice wasn’t hitting the opposite end of the table and one of the dealers kept trying to tell me to ‘hit the table’ but I couldn’t hear her well. It had me frazzled and then the men at the opposite end of the table were trying to be encouraging but it felt condescending. This is my feeling of course. I knew they weren’t meaning to be condescending but I was flustered and embarrassed because she kept calling me out.
Sure enough I lost my ‘mojo’ and crapped out with a seven. I was talking to Neal and telling him how I got flustered and how it made me anxious. I was actually laughing when I was talking to him and I could see the woman and she knew I wasn’t upset with her just the overall situation. I believe I said a choice word…not the worst ‘bad word’ but it was a curse word and suddenly one of the other dealers makes a big scene pulling away from the table and said, “She was just doing her job. I don’t appreciate you using that language.”
I was in shock. Holly’s eyes got real big and she started to laugh. “Did he just call you out because of what you said?” she said. “He got on to you for saying that when we are surrounded by people who curse like sailors?”
Granted I shouldn’t have said what I said but it was in jest and it wasn’t the worse thing I’ve ever said in my life! The woman who had kept telling me to throw my dice against the wall was now moved over to the position closest to me and I said to her, “I’m sorry if I offended you in any way. I was telling my husband that I was flustered and it had nothing to do with you.”
She smile and laughed. “Oh, he is just a bully. Don’t worry about it.”
I couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling that I’d given an impression of myself that wasn’t me. It truly bothered me. I wasn’t much for gambling anymore. I know not everyone is going to ‘like’ me but it still made a mark on me that I was obviously not being at my ‘best’ and I was clearly misunderstood.
Vegas has run its course with me. I’m up for our final dinner and maybe one last hand and the Craps table before I call it a night and prepare to come home. I need to get back to the deadline and everything else waiting for me.
In an effort to make up for my lack of ‘showing up’ today I’m going to ask God that I can have an opportunity to be a witness to someone, any one, here in my last hours in Vegas. We’ll see what happens. 😉
Blessings
Shannon