At this very moment I struggle with my worth as a mother. I live my life with a deep-seeded desire to ‘expose’ the crippling effects of abuse to the light of truth – that each and every individual deserves to be treated with respect, dignity and love. However, at this very moment I struggle the most because when I have to discipline my kids I get all tangled in what they will perceive in their young hearts and minds as a slight to them. I do know I can’t not discipline them…as parents we need to establish boundaries, what’s right and what’s wrong. But in the context of what took place a moment ago I have no idea if I should apologize if I hurt their feelings OR let it go because maybe they’ll finally realize I mean business. As a parent I deserve the authoritative respect to be heard and obeyed…ugh but even typing those words causes me to cringe. Growing up the words ‘respect’ and ‘obey’ were always spoken with not just an ‘authority’ but demanded and not necessarily reciprocated. I do believe my children are owed my respect just as much as I believe they should respect me.
At any rate, the issue stemmed from their lack of respect towards one another, the consistent fighting. I had warned them this morning and later reiterated my warning that I would instill a particular punishment if they continued to fight incessantly. I carried my warning through.
It made them stop. It worked. But Seth, my more sensitive child, tweaked the momma guilt by saying ‘ you don’t care that you hurt my feelings’. UGH But I do care!!! I also know if I give in and say ‘I’m sorry, honey I do care.’ that the effect of my intent goes away and I won’t be taken seriously. 🙁 (thoughts from parents are welcomed and appreciated)
At any rate the day really was a GOOD DAY. Thankfully the boys did get along for the most part as I kept them busy in this gloomy weather. We began the morning by visiting the State Capitol.
I was most impressed with Ryan as he gave the tour guy a run for his money asking him questions about history facts that certainly blew me away. Both boys were very interested in the history and Seth went around to every portrait and statue, taking pictures, reading and absorbing the history.
Then we made a trip to Seth’s ‘favorite’ place so far, the UT Co-Op:
Ryan said there was so much burnt orange it made him sick. Which school is he a fan? Who knows but apparently orange is not his color! We then went to lunch at Guerro’s on So-Co (South Congress) which was hands down some of the best Tex-Mex I’ve had in ages! Finally, we made it up to the newly famous ‘silver-bullet’ eatery’s and ordered a few Cupcakes from Hey Cupcake!
We ended the day back at the hotel. The kids are now enjoying the amenities of hotel life, swimming, hot tub, NINTENDO 64 games, etc etc. They want for nothing…
…except maybe a nicer mom? 🙂
In the fifteen minutes it has taken me to write this they are getting along, taking turns and Seth and I had a moment alone where I could not necessarily apologize for doing my job as a mom but let him know that I love at all times and disciplining is not my favorite part of the privilege of being his mom.
Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him takes care to chastise him.
Blessings
Shannon