In Healing Yoga this morning Lynn said something that summed up what I’ve experienced in the last two weeks – learning to live in the here and now. She said (paraphrased), “When we choose to remain in our past, or focus on what was once done,
Granted, as Lynn and I both interject here on this very true fact for us all, it can be a roller coaster ride as we practice trying to remain in the here and now. None of us are perfect. There are many circumstances that will cause us at one time or other to have angst over the past and trepidation for the future. But what is important is to know you are the only one who can stop that roller coaster ride by focusing on what God brings you today.
Two weeks ago I went to Colorado with my family for a family reunion 25 years in the making. This was my mom’s side of the family, her along with her four brother’s, their wives, children, and even grandchildren. We [my immediate family along with my siblings] hadn’t seen this side of the family in 25 years since my mom came out with the ‘dark secret’ about Grandpa.
Now that he is passed [past can work too…] the family has suddenly felt liberated to join together once again. I will admit I was a bit apprehensive going into this. Anxious for things I could not foresee, and sad for the things of the past. By the grace of God, we focused on ONE ANOTHER and not the past, opening us all up to who we were as individuals and the natural love that comes from blood relation.
I’d love to show you a picture of the 30+ crew but I’d like to honor a bit of their privacy, though naturally with me being ‘public’ I have taken a bit of that away from them. 🙁 But all in all, it was a very healing, comfortable, enjoyable, and no-drama time.
But I believe it was this way because not only myself but my sisters chose to be in the moment and not live in the past. It was choice. Granted, I’m not saying shove the past away, NOT AT ALL… we went through years of having that darkness revealed to the light, with conversations between my mother and her brothers, between me and my aunts and my cousin, and me and my uncles. There have been tears, apologies, and the dreaded confusions. It has been a trying time but a journey that was a must which could lead to this time of reconciliation.
For those going through this ‘trying time’ because you chose to speak out, I know it’s difficult but allow God to work in His light and in YOU… the journey is tough but worth while and freeing.
Once we were back Neal and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary. 20 years!! I still can’t believe I’m old enough to have been married 20 years! 😉 Neal surprised me that night, Wednesday, July 6th, with our priest, Fr. Richard McNeillie coming over to renew our vows! I was in cut-off shorts and a tank top!!! But it was perfect.
It was IN THE MOMENT and not dredging up any of the mistakes and dark spots from our past, not were we worried about where we’d be in the future or anxious about making it ‘picture perfect’.
I’m grateful to God and even to myself or my willingness to receive the moment God chooses to bless me with in the here and now.
Blessings
Shannon