After seven years of my profession as an inspirational speaker today was the FIRST DAY Neal had ever attended one of my keynotes. He didn’t just attend, he participated (God bless him!). I was very nervous about this morning’s keynotes for this reason. I’ve been doing this for years, in front of as many as 5000 and as small as 20. From my knowledge Neal hasn’t spoken in front of more than 1 in a ‘professional’ manner. 😉
This morning we were to give a marriage seminar we entitled 3 C’s of Marriage: Covenant, Communication, Compromise
We broke it up in two segments, the first breaking down the idea of Covenant (committment) at the beginning – dating, engagement and first few years of marriage. Infusing our personal stories into the program we discussed with honesty and truth the breakdown of communication within the first 6-7 years of our marriage and how the ‘covenant’ aspect of committment was not within our realm of acceptance or understanding. Our personal faith remained personal and it was never shared. And how easy it is for a couple who are so in love, who have great communication and can talk about the deepest most intimate aspects of their life can lose that very gift of communicating within years of a marriage. Suddenly it’s not communicating it’s just talking.
For the first half of the program we had married couples go and discuss their beginning, how they met what was it they admired and revered about the other, what did ‘committment’ look like to them then, etc and then they gathered into groups to discuss the same questions.
The second half Neal and I discussed the real ‘work’ of our marriage – couples counseling, recognizing that our marriage wasn’t just a promise but a covenant joining together and being one with God. We discussed our call to be subordinate to one another (to lift one another up) to God as instructed in Ephesians 5:21-30:
I took the liberty in inserting ‘life up their’ replacing ‘subordinate’ as it is defined in the dictionary because I think it best describes what we are being instructed to do. Many women (and men) get caught up in a tangled vine of frustration and resistance with the word ‘subordinate’ when in reality if we could take it in its entire context the passage is a map for marriage. Within our counseling sessions Neal took on his call to do whatever it took to bring me to a place where I felt ‘without spot or wrinkle and to feel holy, without blemish’.
We rounded up the program with how we learned to compromise in order to lift one another up and focus on God as the true center of our marriage embracing the COVENANT we made before God.
Neal was brilliant with his ‘input’, bringing laughter when needed and from what I hear the men said they ‘appreciated his view point’. I was even more in awe of him because I knew that the entire time he was suffering a stomach burning virus that has laid him up for the last few days. He somehow managed to ‘show up’ today, regardless of the pain, and stood beside me for us and for everyone else.
If he weren’t so sick I’d give him a big smooch! 😀 Do me a favor and kiss your spouse for me and tell them how much you appreciate them today (and every day).
Blessings
Shannon