Don’t you know when I think I’ve got it all figured out one phone call messes it all up. 🙂
Yesterday I signed the final contract for the book which has now completed all legal aspects of becoming an author. Now the book is headed to the printer and I will have it in my hands (and available to order) within the next 3 weeks! I was excited about this (and still am) but as per my blog yesterday there was something more pressing I needed to come to terms with, which I did. So today I allowed myself to begin to feel that little nip of excitement about having this dream placed in my hands within weeks. Now my mind is befuddled with everything else that can be done in regards to getting the word out. Along with the complexity of discerning where God wants me to take this endeavor I have been working on various talks for the summer youth conferences.
I set out this morning feeling good about where God has me right now. He has made my heart calm about my day to day activities in ministry. I’m excited about the near future, pretty certain He would lay the ground work to have me focus on the Healing Hearts ministry. With one phone call all of this is now in question in regards to what was presented to me. With this phone call I was given an opportunity to help with a project that last about four months. It offers great fruits but demands a lot of time. Personal time. Time away from family. I’ve not had any interest in doing this before but the person behind the offer was pretty persuasive.
If I could see with God’s eye what was set before me within the next four or five months it would be so helpful to make this decision. The thing is if I’m meant to do this project it’s because God wants me to do this project. There is no pay. There is great commitment but the reward is bringing more to Him. I think that is what stumps me. I feel guilty either way, whether I say ‘yes’ and then know that for those four months times will be stressful and hectic b/c I’d be adding it on to everything else I’m doing…or if I say ‘no’ am I going against what He is asking of me? Basically, is He calling me to this for a purpose?
That is where discernment gets so tricky. Is it of Him or is it a way to trip me up? My spiritual adviser once said, “The devil will disguise himself as a saint to make the holiest ones fall.” So, is this a tactic to get me overly committed? Or to redirect my attention away from what God has planned in regards to Healing Hearts and the book ,etc?
See my dilemma? 🙁
Thoughts? Words of wisdom? I’m all ears!!
Blessings
Shannon