The enemy didn’t take long to reveal his nasty ways. Good thing he is fallible because of his greed I believe I received a clearer message on what it is I’m supposed to do. You see this morning as I was preparing for a retreat I helped lead today for the 8th graders at St. Ambrose here in Houston Neal and I ended up in a ridiculous argument. It was over something so trivial and Neal blew up out of thin air. (Thanks to that rage episode) I had the wits about me to remain calm. I knew it would do no good to yell over him or even try to reason with him because his mind was stuck on one scenario.
There was no time to work it out amicably because he had to get to work and I had to get the kids to school and head to the retreat. That didn’t stop him from getting a few digs in via text. Armed with the Blessed Mother’s prayer (I’ve learned to say Hail Mary’s over and over and over again till the ‘anger’ goes away) I text back ‘You are being mean and I need to be in a better place for this retreat. About an hour later, once I made it to the retreat, I got a call from Neal apologizing for how he reacted and for the way he was treating me. You see, it never fails, any time I’m about to do a talk at a conference or lead a retreat Neal and I get into a meaningless squabble.
But here is where the enemy tripped up. The ‘issue’ Neal and I had this morning was directly related to this opportunity I have that I am discerning. Even though my opportunity isn’t for another few months, the issue this morning is for something that is happening right now and this project mirrors the very same opportunity I will be facing if I were to say ‘yes’. As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog this opportunity is time consuming and can be full of ‘drama’…and this morning we were brought into this drama (even though neither one of us has anything to do with it directly at this point). I apologize for being vague but I’m sure you understand. 🙂
At any rate, it made me realize that if we can get in such a squabble and I’m not even involved then what will it be like for us when it is taking so much of my time that this drama consumes my world? Suddenly I was able to view the opportunity from more of a 3-D angle than at face value. Not that the opportunity still couldn’t be a great one and it surely will be one that God will use to bring many of His children closer to Him…but at this point I believe it became clear that for me it would be a distraction.
I haven’t called my friend yet. I’ve also learned in discerning that I shouldn’t jump to conclusions either way. I will spend another day in prayer, asking God to bring me comfort in the direction He wants me to go. I am grateful for the calls, emails and comments helping me gain a new perspective on this decision.
Oh, and by the way, the Holy Spirit rocked the retreat today!!! Their theme was ‘Taking it to the Streets’ and it was so much fun spending a day with these kids that are so full of LIFE. It is an honor to stand before them and remind them of God’s message in Jeremiah 1:5-9:
- Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.
- “Ah, Lord GOD!” I said, “I know not how to speak; I am too young.” But the LORD answered me, Say not, “I am too young.” To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. Have no fear before them, because I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD. Then the LORD extended his hand and touched my mouth, saying, See, I place my words in your mouth.
- I think the greatest gift in speaking for Him is to be His vessel and learn as He uses me. To be reminded of the message as it comes from within.
- God is infallible and always comes out on top!
- Blessings
- Shannon