Beyond three loads of laundry, ironing, dishes, picking up dry cleaning, dusting, vacuuming, and paying the bills I managed in a brief moment or two to divulge in telling someone new about the book. With every person that I told a new connection was mentioned. One that is local, one that wants to spread the word to various States, and another that could possibly get the book in the hands of a woman that is married to a ‘celeb’ of sorts that does charity work for women’s shelters. I now find myself in the quandary of wanting so badly for the word to spread like wildfire and on the other hand I don’t want to get caught up in the ‘sales’.
It is NOT about the sales…it is about helping others. I repeated that to myself in adoration this morning and gave it up to God. I realize that this is a ploy that the enemy can use to get me away from God’s intention. I recognize it, yet I find myself wanting to check every day to see how many sold. I can’t believe I’m even writing this to the world. But it’s true. 🙁 It’s like having a baby and wanting everyone to see how cute he is. Being his parent you naturally consider him the cutest baby ever. You are proud. I am proud.
But it was pride that found me face down on the floor begging God to save me from me. I thought about that on the ride home from adoration this morning. “Save me from me,” I prayed to God. “This will be a prayer I’m sure I’ll have to say many more times.” I know it’s okay to want to succeed and I do pray for the success of the book because if there is great success then that means many are being reached and hopefully led to His truth and love.
However, already I know I’ve written about this way too often in this blog which tells me that the door was/is beginning to open and I need to slam it shut. I apologize if you are already sick of hearing about it and it’s only been 3 days on the market! I vow to not get caught up in this taunting game of the enemy and instead focus on what reactions I might receive from those who actually read the book. Though, I know I need to brace myself for that as well as everyone will not be a fan. I get it. I don’t have to be liked by everyone. 🙂
Though don’t we all want to be?? 😉
By the way, I found out today I get my books IN HAND Monday!!!!! I get to hold one and to look at it. I can’t explain what that means. The anticipation… wow.
Blessings
Shannon