Today I felt like I was standing in an empty field on a bright sunny day and out of no where an occasional snow ball would be launched in my direction. CRAZY and STRANGE
It began with my youngest waking up in a crabby mood. We’ve been trying to work on his ‘attitude’ (more like we are trying to undue the stink of spoiling). With his mouth pursed up, his eyes squinted and his hands on his hips he was ‘telling’ me that the day was basically a wash because his teacher was giving them pizza and he hates pizza with sauce! I tried to reason with him other options and that set off the explosion of more whining and cries. So I told him to go back to his room, crawl back in bed and start the day over again. When he refused I made him stand before the bathroom mirror with me so he could see what he ‘looked like’ when he spoke that way…WELL that was the wrong thing to do… “You don’t like the way I look!?!” he cried. “I am happy with who I am but my own mother doesn’t like the way I look?!” 🙁 WHAT??! (Inside I’m thinking, ‘Wait a minute, how did he just finagle this out of my control and turn it on me?’) That did it, he had stormed away from me and I follow him all upset, now yelling (which I’ve been very good at NOT doing lately) but this time I said, “Now, do you see what me yelling makes me look like to you? Do you like the way I look right now? My attitude changes the way I look. That is what I was trying to show you, and I am your biggest supporter, your greatest fan, and for you to say ‘I don’t like you and how you look’ hurts me because that is not what I was saying! It hurts me to see your attitude change you!”
Well, apparently this is a great tactic to get brothers to ‘bond’ because I heard big brother Ryan talk some sense into him and after a few minutes Seth came in and apologized. All is good now… for now…
Then I make it to lunch with a very kind man who was in my Catholics Returning Home class. He is in his late 70’s? He had read my book over the weekend and wanted to ‘talk’. What was so strange about this lunch ‘date’ was the fact he felt the need to ‘confess’ (for lack of a better term as he had been to confession recently). He needed to get off his chest the many times he felt he might have hurt women, most especially his wife, with some of his actions. I knew I’d get different reactions from the book but I never really felt it would illicit this response. I think I’m still digesting this one…I might have to write more on this another day.
Finally, I was folding clothes this afternoon and Oprah came on the TV. I don’t really watch Oprah anymore though, not going to lie, it would be GREAT to get on her book list before she gets off the air! lol 😉 She had Simon Cowell on and I was half listening half still digesting bits and pieces of the conversation I had at lunch. But Oprah brought up something about his past that caught my attention. I stopped what I was doing to listen to his story. He was on top of the world at the age of 30 thinking he had really made it and then out of nowhere it all fell apart and he was left with nothing. He said he literally did not have a dime to his name. But he was very glad that this happened because it let him know that the success was too fast and the work he had put into making it where he was, was quick and reckless, not well thought out or to his full potential. He said once he had another opportunity to begin work again and start over he realized that the key to doing it right the next time would be to not rush. He knew that the success needed to unfold as his abilities and gifts were fully honed and ready to carry the weight of the responsibility.
This made me think about God’s plan in our life and our gifts. That HE knows what HE wants us to do and HE has given us the gifts and talents to do exactly that purpose…but HE has to put us in situations and different opportunities to work on sharpening the gifts and talents so that we can carry the weight of the responsibility it takes to be HIS DISCIPLE in our purpose. I don’t think Simon Cowell has thought about it this way but I know God gave me clarity through listening to that story and reassurance that we DO get stronger even when we think we are at our weakest.
What a day! 🙂
Blessings
Shannon