Why is it that we are nearly done with June and instead of feeling rested and chilled I’m exhausted and frantic? 🙂 My days are being spent going back and forth to here and there making sure my kids aren’t sitting in front of a computer or TV screen longer than an hour! For this type A personality so far it’s a living nightmare. My house can’t stay clean longer than …oh…one minute and when I go to sit down and try to do something that would have been in my usual daily routine I hear, “Mom! I need…” or “Mom, will you…” or “Mom, can I…”
C R A Z Y
It is a blessing that most of my work that needs to be taken care of at the office is done, and I’m blessed to have a position that my hours are spent talking and working with young adults which makes it nice and flexible. I’m not complaining there. The feeling I get inside is more like the time is speeding up and I can’t do anything to slow it down. When I was younger I felt that summer days were long and lazy. I read books, went swimming, hung out with friends, etc and it felt the days lasted forever. Naturally I was a CHILD and had no other responsibilities, and hopefully my children do feel the same as I did then. I pray that despite my effort to ‘keep them busy’ and not TV/Computer/Video game junkies they are feeling relaxed and chilled.
But there is a big part of me that just wants to reach out and grab TIME in my hands and make it STOP. I want to set my children before me, look at them, analyze every feature of their rapidly growing faces and bodies. I want there to be that unnatural moment of connection where they could actually listen to every word I had to say to them and have them accept it as a part of their core being while they are still young and still able to see me as a mom that is on their side. I want to have the ability to reach into their spirit and instill in them a rock solid confidence to block out the hurts that a single word or look can bring.
I try to set this in motion even though the time won’t stop and their identity is fragile.
At the end of this summer I will have a son in middle school and another in 4th grade. At this rate, at the end of this summer Ryan will be only a few inches from looking at me in the eye and Seth will probably grow out of needing me to put him to bed at night with kisses on the cheek. Because of this I am grateful we have a vacation coming up next week that is just the four of us. Maybe God will grant us this ebb in time so that Neal and I can infuse in them the love, confidence, encouragement and strength they’ll need to face this whirl wind world.
Please continue to pray for the Stanton family as they are stuck in this bubble of time, holding fast to the hope that they will receive the blessing of seeing their son renewed in life once again. We all pray for God’s hand and His will.
Blessings
Shannon