I’m a living oxymoron. (or just a moron?) 🙂 If there is too much unnecessary loud noise around, my shoulders begin to rise and touch the tips of my ears, the fibers in my muscles turn to stone and the ability to reason rationally flies like a released dove out the window. But, yet, if I’m with a group of people and suddenly there is an awkward silence my heart speeds up, my legs shake with anticipation and I’m thrust into a need to save those souls who fear putting themselves on the line by uttering a word.
But I suppose there is nothing wrong with finding peace in the middle of a good ‘give and take’. I share, I listen, I hear, I am validated and hopefully I validate.
Today there was a healthy amount of give and take in the day. The day was not void of the thin layer of sadness and disappointment that remains but I was determined to see where God was in the day. It wasn’t until later in the day, on my way to Catholics Returning Home I was listening to my IPOD and I felt HIM with me. It was a moment of intimacy with God…not intimacy in a physical realm but the kind of feeling you get when you know someone so well you don’t have to say anything but they can know what you are feeling and by the a simple gesture or glance you can communicate. That’s how I knew He was with me…I could FEEL Him, a warm calming breath on the nape of my neck, His love literally pouring into my spirit. Whatever was on my IPOD ended and I asked God to speak to me in song…”I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain began to play:
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I’ll be captivated
I’ll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
Chorus:
I’ll be your crying shoulder
I’ll be your love suicide
and I’ll be better when I’m older
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.
The tears that stained my cheeks were warm and welcomed. His love kissed my soul and took away my sadness. The next song began to play:
Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey (I giggled because it’s not that the words make God’s voice it is what I take from it and He doesn’t want me to stop believing)
Don’t stop believing, hold on to the feeling
The last song that began to play as I headed into the church parking lot was Cry on My Shoulder by Overflow.
You say you’re falling apart
Reached the end of the line
Just looking for your place in an ordinary life
No one calls you friend
No one even knows your name
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain
You no longer have to say
No one’s listening anyway
Come here and cry on my shoulder
I’ll hold you ’til it’s over
I’ll rescue you tonight
Let My arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I’ll love you more than life
*sigh* I hear you, Lord. I do. Thank you for listening to me too.
Blessings
Shannon