I’ll make this one short and sweet.
I’m was (and still am) unsettled today. Have you ever had that uneasy feeling that sits like an Alka Seltzer in the pit of your stomach. It’s dissolving slowly, sending up little bubbles of uncertainty and discourse but without reason. Nothing happened in the day that has caused this mysterious unease. My brother in law is back in town with his wife and four children (if you knew me a few years back, there was a lot of drama with them and Neal and I were literally a breath’s hair away from taking the kids into custody as their legal guardians…this was a huge step for us as we were going from a family of 4 to a family of 8 but I felt very calm and peaceful about the decision. I was even excited because in many ways I felt this was God’s way of giving me the big family I truly wanted…and then out of no where the mom straightened up enough to get the kids back.) Maybe in some way this is the underlying cause? Maybe it’s that lack of trust I have with his brother and wife? Maybe it’s that I want to give them a chance but I not only worry for myself but now I worry for my boys too, as they will create bonds with these kids.
Maybe it’s that there are so many people around me within my family unit that are making decisions that I morally don’t agree with but obviously have no say…yet they affect me and my family IF we want to remain close to them as family.
Love with God’s heart, I preach to myself. But my heart is so sad. 🙁
Maybe that is exactly what that means…I can’t imagine God’s heart rejoices in ALL that He sees. It’s focusing on the changes that can be seen, the accomplishments, the progress of one fighting the battle and overcoming evil and temptation.
*sigh*
Tomorrow is a new day. 🙂
Blessings
Shannon