With God there are never coincidences. In fact, whomever coined that term must have gotten sick of saying ‘Ha, it must have been according to His will’. But as the world developed we began to stray away from recognizing God in even the little miracles and therefore left them up to a mystery. At any rate, I enjoy recognizing even the littlest touch from God. This morning during my adoration hour I was reading this section from ‘My Daily Bread – A summary of the Spiritual Life’ a little prayer book that a young woman gave me on Monday night at Cafe Catholica. She said she felt ‘prompted’ by God to give it to me.
Naturally, I’m going to read it and this morning’s section was on having a ‘right intention in all things.’ Where the ‘coincidence’ comes in is that the day before I had decided to invite my husband’s brother’s oldest daughter (she is 15 but going into the 9th grade) out to a movie and to lunch. Ever since Neal’s brother came into town with the kids it has been hard on me for many reasons (as I’ve stated in earlier blogs) and as I’ve prayed about it I have been feeling called to get to know the kids and set aside the frustration and hurt from five years before and the fear of getting close to them and then having them ripped away again. Not to mention the great desire to help them in a way that is not my place because they have parents that are taking care of them and even though our families live in seemingly two separate worlds it is my place to respect their family unit. So, I had thought it might be a good idea to take my niece out so that we could get to know one another and have a chance to talk.
However, when I was reading the prayer book this morning it prompted me to think about what my ‘true intentions’ were behind taking her out. Was I just taking her out because I felt that I had to, like it was my duty to God? Or was I taking her out because I truly cared about her well being and in getting to know her…and to be there for her no matter the outcome? What the meditation was say was that in all we do we should make sure we renew our pure intention (of doing this according to His will with the goal of being with Him in heaven) many times throughout the day. In essence, when the desire to ask my niece out came to me I should have right then and there prayed about what my pure intention was and to align it with God’s will. Honestly, I will admit when I made the first move it was out of obligation. I am shameful to admit that but I know these kids need us yet I am selfish and desire so much to be able to take them and try to offer them more. And I don’t mean monetarily but with education, morals, faith, etc. But even that thought is self-righteous. God created their family unit and it is not for me to decide what is ‘right and wrong’ for them.
When I took her out today I simply enjoyed the movie with her and during lunch I decided to talk to her like I would any teen that would come to me and want to talk. Only thing is she is family and nothing can take that away, so I made sure she knew who I was, what I cherish, and what I feel it means to feel worthy inside, not of material things but of respect and dignity. I just loved her. She isn’t much of a talker…and I don’t know if my words were seeds that were put into soil, or if they were planted on asphalt but I do know I had the right intention of God’s love behind me.
I want so much for all of those kids to know Him. So I’ll just pray.
Blessings
Shannon