I learned a lot about friendship today. It is a lot like a marriage, at times the give and take is equal and at other times one person might have to carry the load while the other flounders around in a stage of growth. Unfortunately the main difference is the old adage, “Friends are either for a reason, season or a lifetime.” And even though society today would like to correlate that with marriage as well, if you are old-fashioned like me, marriage is only for a lifetime! 😉
Lately, it has been hard for me to get a grip on any friendship that would last more than either for a reason or a season because I find that being in ministry (ever since I became a youth minister years ago) that it becomes like carrying a second marriage. You throw kids into the mix and voila, any ‘free time’ with friends suddenly becomes sparse. For the entire five years of being in youth ministry I literally had to forgo a ‘true’ friendship with anyone all together because I literally could not foster that kind of friendship. I would be with someone and see how one sided it became because it was only on the little ‘time’ I did have and so it was always on ‘my time’ and convenience that I couldn’t imagine it was very fun to be friends with me. 🙂
Now that I’m only part -time in ministry with the parish and doing ministry work on the side with speaking there is a little more free time which has opened the door for me to venture friendships again…but not much. Even though my time is still sparse (meaning, I’m literally NOT AROUND to do anything with) I am trying harder to make an effort to plan time with friends. What has been shocking to me is that I still have managed to make some pretty solid friendships in this past year or two. And today I realized that I’m vested in them. Meaning, I would really be bothered if they suddenly dropped off because my season is up. 🙁
I had forgotten over the years how important friendship meant to me. I am so in love and involved with the community, and it feels like having thousands of friends that I forgot what it meant to have a few to call on the fly and confide in them or to be encouraged by them and to be ‘real’ with them.
This was my gift today, learning to step back and recognize that I’ve been gifted with some amazing women friends in my life. And I’m one to never forget them whether they do become if only for a reason or a season. 🙂
Love you my sisters!
Blessings
Shannon