“Every man is something of a mystery to himself. In every human heart there is plenty of room for self-deception. The intention which you claim, may not be the real reason which moves you.” – My Daily Bread
I felt it odd to read the passage for the day when I was in a great mood and about to have a great day. But by the end of the evening I could understand why this particular meditation gripped my heart in such a way that led me to recognize how easily swayed I can still be by the littlest of temptations.
I did not necessarily act like ‘myself’ this weekend. I spent money I probably shouldn’t have, I had a foul attitude about things I don’t normally have an issue with and in the end as I lay my head on the pillow to call it a final day I realized I barely prayed throughout the day. I tried in the morning but my mind was easily distracted. I wanted to skip away to the special adoration service that was in the morning but didn’t have the courage to ask my cousin, who was with me, if she wouldn’t mind stopping in for a minute (that is not like me, why was I afraid to introduce her to something so amazing??). 🙁 I was not acting like ‘myself’.
Overall our visit went very well with John and Lisa. But I feel I could have done and been more to them, or at least Lisa whom I was with all weekend. I said I’d be honest to you and to me in these blogs and for this day I’d give myself a failing grade for not showing up for Him. Thankfully, God never gives up and it is this truth that I rely on to have another chance.
Blessings
Shannon