God is consistent and ever present with His message. This morning as I struggled to arise from the misery of failure I read His encouragement in My Daily Bread – “Fight like a good soldier. If you should fall through weakness, pray for greater help and rise with more determination than ever before. ” I mulled this over before I rose from bed and continued to let it ferment within my spirit for the rest of the morning.
What finally hit it’s mark was the ‘think’ section of the day’s meditation – “So too, in times of trouble, he (man) reminds himself of the joy which he had previously and will have again in due time. Such a person avoids extreme changeableness and the undependability of those who act on their feelings and moods. He is reliable both with God and man because he seeks to keep control of himself, whether he feels raised up in joy or submerged in spiritual darkness and sadness.”
I felt God whisper in my ear, “Do not give in or give up.”
Yes I failed yesterday. I could’ve been stronger and pushed to do more of what I felt called to do with the healing Mass and or adoration. No excuses. I thought about the upcoming spiritual warfare talk I have in North Dakota and my stomach churned.
‘Fight the good fight’, I thought. I prayed. I apologized. I prayed to the Blessed Mother. And before I knew it the guilt and shame of failure began to fade.
And instead of sulking inside I took Ryan on a bike ride to map out a path to his friend’s house, something I’d promised him I would do with him for weeks. We found the way and rode back and then he asked to do it again to make sure he had it down to memory. Normally, I would have been ‘done’ but I felt renewed, rejuvenated and we did the route again.
Just like Ryan needs practice to find his way to his friends house and back home again I can see that with each time I see this diversion from God’s path in my life I am finding it easier and faster to get right back on track to find my way home.
Blessings
Shannon