My son got into the car this afternoon at first telling me about how he needs a new belt because he ruined the one he has while he was in PE class and then in the next breath he said, “I think I don’t have a best friend anymore.” I looked through the rearview mirror to see his face because it was such a random proclamation to make when this particular friend he was referring to had just been over to play the day before. Sure enough his face was pinched and I could see it was taking every bit of effort he could muster not to cry.
“Did something happen today?” I asked, walking on this rocky ground with tentative steps. Seth is a sensitive soul, I know that often he can perceive situations to be more than what they actually are in truth.
“He only talks to me when I talk to him first and he doesn’t pay attention to me at school when we can play at recess and I think he likes so and so more now.” Then they came, big crocodile tears.
I cursed the fact I was driving and couldn’t reach him because I wanted to cradle him in my arms like I did when he was a baby. Now being the adult I realize that what he is experiencing is a part of life. I love the little boy he is friends with like he’s my own and regardless if he was ‘defriending’ Seth or not I’d still care very much for him but I don’t think that is the case. Didn’t I have a blog that referred to friends for a season, reason or a lifetime? These boys are 9, almost 10 years old. I tried to explain to Seth that sometimes we just find other friends that have the same interests, etc but that it doesn’t mean he’s lost him completely as a friend. I also don’t like the term ‘best friend’…that is almost a set up for failure to attach yourself to one friend and honestly it puts so much pressure on that one friend.
This is elementary drama and I know it will clear up and or pass as time goes on but there is nothing good about seeing your son look as if he lost his best friend. I now understand that coined term. My feathers flared up and I wanted to cover him from the danger of a broken heart. But in this instance, sometimes we have to let them feel a bit of the pain in order to grow.
But it is so hard. 🙁
Blessings
Shannon