I want to get back to where I once belonged. Bare with me if it seems I am consistently bringing this up but I wake up daily feeling like I’m stuck in a huge plastic bag and I can’t seem to get an opening for air. I want to breathe again! I want to step out of that bag and feel like I’m exactly where I need to be. The revelations of last week were like a pin prick to the bag. Allowing just enough air to get in and give me that sliver of hope that soon I can find that sparse opening and work at it to finally tear a big enough hole to escape.
This morning when I opened my eyes I greeted God as I normally do, “Good morning Lord. Thank you for another day. What is it I can do for you today?” Normally that is all I need to get me revved up to take on whatever the day may bring. On a ‘normal’ day I get excited to think about what unexpected ‘something’ will take place, whether it be a conversation I wasn’t expecting, a phone call, email or meeting someone new. Today, however, I laid in bed longer than usual, allowing myself to recognize that this bag I’m in has been keeping me from full mobility to reach and be near God.
I need a retreat. It is very clear. I have not had a full weekend of spiritual enlightenment for me in well over a year. I’m embarrassed to admit this. It is true that when I prepare for any talk or plan for a retreat there is a great amount of meditating and one on one work with God that I cherish deeply but it is not the same as taking away the ‘work’ aspect and immersing yourself in allowing God to reveal himself in a new awareness through someone else’s stories and personal revelations.
A silent retreat is what I long for but in order to get the best benefit from a silent retreat you need at least 5 days if not 7 or 8 and with the boys still young I just don’t have that freedom. However, I will not make excuses anymore to keep from booking a weekend retreat. We have wonderful places here in Houston that give retreats and I’m going to make it a priority. There was so much opportunity to do this when I was in youth ministry. We had a retreat given to us by the Diocese and we had the LIFETEEN retreat as well. But where there is a will there is a way and I know God will make it happen. 🙂
Regardless what your ‘profession’ is let me encourage YOU to consider looking into a personal retreat!
Blessings
Shannon