Seth and I traveled today to visit my cousin in Grand Saline, Tx. She lives on 490 acres of land complete with cattle, 4-wheelers and plenty of God’s green pasture and open skies. Seth was anxious to get going and riding 4-wheelers that he woke up this morning at 6am, bags packed and ready to go. 🙂
I actually had the privilege of catching up with 2 of my cousins today and since it’s been roughly 8 -9 months since I’ve seen them last we had a lot of catching up to do on family ‘business’. Just to be in their presence makes my heart ache with a homesickness of what ‘used to be’. I miss the family dinners at my grandmother’s (Sweetgraw’s) house with the huge dining room table and 12 high backed chairs where the adults sat and told stories of ‘the good ole’ days’ while we lingered to hear them ribbing each other and laugh imagining our parents getting into trouble. Our family used to get together at least once, if not twice, a year with all of the aunts, uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins and 3d cousins. We were abreast of what was going on with one another and there was an essence of family pride that filled the air when we gathered.
I remember going through one of the hardest times in college just after I filed charges of sexual assault and at one of these family gatherings I gained the courage to tell my cousins, all nearly 30 of them, and their reaction was one of support and love of me. One male cousin wanted to get in the car with all of the other male cousins and drive down to my college town, track the culprit down and fix the issue ‘the good ole’ fashion way’ … kind of tit-for-tat. I’ll never forget my heart swelling with gratitude, love and pride to know my family was strong and that with their support I could get through anything.
I still feel this when I get to see even one or two of this ‘gallant family front’ … but it just isn’t the same these days. Instead it seems the more we catch up the longer the tie that once was bound becomes unraveled. Somewhere in the past decade within each one of our families (among our parents the ‘original siblings’) unfortunate circumstances have caused tension, dissension, and havoc that has left all of us to come unbound. We don’t gather together anymore and even if it were to be done the evil that has gripped some good souls would only serve to cause a stink.
More and more I need to pray for my family…my extended family… and pray for a miracle to bring the unraveled bond back into its tight knit structure of support, endurance and love. Even if it begins with the three of us, I will not give up on my family.
Blessings
Shannon