Ice skating in December and a few days from Christmas seemed like a great idea this morning. I would get to spend time with the boys, we would be doing something ‘new’ and maybe it would trick us into thinking it was winter even though we were in short sleeves and sweating in our jeans.
I was mistaken. 🙁
Instead, we made it into the skating rink, got our skates and that is when it wall began. The whining, complaining, fit throwing, stomping of the feet because the skates just didn’t fit right…yes MY kids who were some of the ‘older’ kids in the place were acting like the 2 year olds! Worse is that my oldest can’t seem to let things go…he goes on and on and on…I lost it. I was trying to help him and get things ‘just right’ but he wouldn’t let up. I finally clued in and walked away. I mean, he is 12, he can put his own skates on and figure it out. I certainly didn’t want to listen to him anymore. However, when I finally get in the rink then I encounter my youngest on the verge of tears because he can’t do it. He has to hold onto the edge. I told him that was fine. It takes time to figure out. In fact, I was shocked at myself standing on the ice, even skating a bit without having to grab the rail because I’m such a clutz all the time. Instead of taking my help and allowing me to walk him through hit he decided to cry and say this was the worst thing I’d ever put him through. (No, there is no drama with boys…never…HA!) Okay, now bring in Ryan who is still talking about his skates and how awful they fit and how his leg hurts and his foot, etc etc etc. Towards the end of his tirade he told me that I was a ‘dictator’ and should not have made him come with me to do this and that by me telling him to be quiet and not throw a fit I was not accepting him for being himself. I finally skated out of the rink, told Ryan to follow me and then we had a ‘come to Jesus’ meeting.
I won’t even go into it because my shoulders are still up to my ears with the tension. Right before my eyes my boy was a teenager and I kept thinking “he doesn’t hear me and I know he’s thinking I don’t hear him.” We were at an impasse…but the main thing is that he was completely disrespecting me. UGH…I sound like my father!!!! I hated to hear that when I was growing up but at that time I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear it. I’ve become my parents. I’m not sure I’m happy or sad about this…
The day ended with Ryan being grounded from anything electronic (after spouting off ‘yes, leader or leader’ to me….) and now after one final talk (hours later) he and I have reconciled….but he is still grounded. Did I tell you I don’t want to do this? I remember being a youth minister and listening to teens come into my office and complain about their parents and I’d listen, completely getting both sides and trying to guide the teen into finding that middle ground with their parents. But now I’m the ‘bad guy’ in the scenario… thank God we have a good youth ministry. I tell you, I firmly believe in allowing Ryan to talk it out with someone I trust, regardless of what he says about me. I know the importance of him feeling like he can ‘have his say’…but more importantly with someone who will hopefully see a bit of my side and guide him gently. 🙂
Where was God in today’s dibocle? I think we were all learning lessons in this situation. And I realized I’m out of practice on ‘counting to ten’ before getting loud. 😉 I pick myself up and try again…
December 22, 2010
Wednesday of the
Fourth Week of Advent
Readings: 1 Sm 1:24-28; Lk 1:46-56
From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
Lk 1:48b-49
Let us now turn our gaze again to Mary and Joseph who
were awaiting the birth of Jesus and learn from them the
secret of reflection in order to taste the joy of Christmas. Let
us prepare ourselves to welcome with faith the Redeemer who
comes to be with us, the Word of God’s love for humanity of
every epoch.
Angelus
December 21, 2008
Blessings
Shannon