I had good intentions to get up this morning and go to spin class, but that alarm went off at 4:30am and I was awake enough to reason that I will work out on Thursday and Friday morning, add that to the work out I did Monday and that gives me at least three work outs this week.
By the time I finished figuring that out in my mind I probably was awake enough to get my butt up and go to the darn spin class! But I held firm and stayed in bed for the next hour dozing in and out of sleep. The rest of the day fit with this semi-awareness…at times I felt normal and ‘alive’, going about the tasks and visiting with others just like I would any other ordinary day…and then a particular issue arose that gets me a bit fired up and when I was basically told it didn’t matter what I thought I felt all the fire within me just fade. For the rest of the day I moped around frustrated because of the injustice and knowing there was no way to change it.
I gave my power away. Even though I ‘lost’ the battle on the issue shouldn’t have allowed it to affect the rest of the day. This point became very clear just now when my son came back from borrowing a neighbor girl’s Social Studies book. He’d forgotten his at school and went to borrow hers. Apparently, the book was too big and cumbersome to be able to hold on to and ride his bike back home. When he came in the back door he SLAMMED the book down on the kitchen table. A jug of juice had been sitting on the table and with the excursion it spilled over onto a library book and the floor. I wasn’t as upset about the mess as I was at his need to be so dramatic! I got onto him for for the dramatics and as I did I could just see the power slip from him.
Grabbing a sponge I helped him clean up the mess and now we are about to work together to get done what he needs to get done. Hopefully I’ll instill within him that he has a right to his emotions as do I.
We live, we learn, we love.
Blessings
Shannon