Today began with a hefty dose of ‘momma guilt’…for those of you that don’t have children, or are possibly the catalyst to an outbreak, ‘momma guilt’ is when mom’s do their job but get paid with anger, hostility, and the reality that their child is quite spoiled which means they probably haven’t been doing their job as well as they ‘think’ they should have.
Follow? 🙂
I couldn’t begin to tell you the source of the momma guilt outbreak this morning but it came about once the boys walked out the door and I realized they left with our last interaction being a battle of wills. I said a prayer for them to shrug it off and enjoy the day when later in the morning I read a comment left on yesterday’s blog.
“I try to treat everyday like its my last, if Im gone tomorrow what was our last interaction like…did I hug them or complain about being tired and not read a book to them….”
…hold on, let me swallow this extra dose of guilt…
🙂
She’s right. Even though I had to hold my ground this morning for their betterment I still should’ve made the extra effort to help them to accept it, shrug it off and begin fresh. By the merciful grace of God they came home laughing, smiling and the morning brawl had been wiped clear.
Another nit picky item to include that has messed with my mind…remember I was/am on the Body for Life way of eating (I won’t say diet as it is supposed to be for life) I was doing so great, really feeling good about my body, my energy, etc but once I went on that girls weekend in Galveston, ate a Ding Dong, munched on anything I wanted, it has been killing me to get back into full swing. I feel like I’ve BALLOONED up once again! Ugh! I’m not even eating everything I want to eat but it’s that bloated feeling that really kicks me in the rear. There is no great point to make here except to update and maybe make myself accountable again?? Oh and Neal is still ‘tobacco free’…three weeks! Keep praying!
I suppose the cool thing is, even though I live through self-doubt, some insecurities and iritablities, God is still showing me He wants to use me for His kingdom. Yesterday morning I felt this sudden urge to call a fellow speaker friend of mine that I hadn’t spoken to in a few months. I thought about it and decided I was going to email him. However, the thought came back again and this time it was as if I just knew I needed to call him and ask specifically if he was working on a Bible study series for the 20-something crowd dealing with issues that are specific to their lifestyle. Again, I wanted to shrug it off and just email him but the thought persisted and so I called. When I told him the reason for my call he got real quiet and I could hear him whisper “Wow, You are so good Lord.” He went on to explain that he’d felt God was calling him to write something in that same direction and just the night before he was praying about it, feeling unsure of his capabilities and wanting to make sure he had the most humble and honest of intentions. He began to think about others within our little speaking circle that might be able to help him put thought to paper and my name had come up. When I called he was a bit taken aback and when I told him the reason for my call he was floored. We are both busy for these next few months but it just so happens that he and I will be working two summer conferences together as well so we’ll have plenty of time to hash out what it is that God is requesting.
God is so good and faithful and has no judgment.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.
Blessings
Shannon