Lost for words I stammered and said, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s not OK, it’s just not,” Brianne replied to me on the phone Saturday when I found out her baby brother, Casey Hughes, was fighting for life. No matter how a young spirit finds itself standing at the gates of heaven it never feels ‘okay’. When it comes from a split second, irrational moment, it makes the acceptance of the loss that much harder.
Today, four days later, Brianne sat before me as she shuffled through pictures of Casey and the family on her computer and said, “I can be sad and angry about one moment of his life or I can celebrate the 18 he lived. I choose to celebrate.”
🙂 Wise words from a young 22 year old.
I thought about that statement and nodded in agreement. I remember the many funerals I attended in high school of friends lost too young, all different and unique scenarios but the loss was the same. Our group of friends would gather together before and after the funeral and bring that person back to life with our stories and laughter.
With each loss we began to digest the reality of our own mortality and shedding the faulty armor of invincibility. For a long time I thought I wasn’t far behind. I was young and didn’t see what life could offer past 18. Then I fell in love and realized there was so much more to living than my heart could accept at a young age.
When I was blessed with children to raise the tic toc of my time and their time on earth grew louder because the desire to live was no longer forced by the fear of death, instead I wanted to live to embrace every precious moment of the miracles growing right before my eyes.
The reality of death made me appreciate life. I suffered through too much loss as a young woman and having worked with youth for so many years I continued to witness death approaching much too soon. I don’t hurt for those who passed. I rejoice with them, and as Brianne mentioned, celebrate the life they were able to live.
My sorrow is when those who are left to move on to another day recognize the void the abundance of the life and character their loved one left behind. It is in this moment that it is the most important to remember the life lived and not the death.
Thank you so much for praying for Casey and his family. There is much life to be celebrated and because of the miracle of medicine Casey’s life will help others to live their life on earth more abundantly.
Cherish every moment and memory God gives you.
Blessings
Shannon