In just a few hours I’ll be heading to Arlington, TX in order to prepare for the Catholic Media Network Trade Show where I’ll be sharing BOOTH #505 with Tiffany Mack, founder of A.S.K. a new non-profit helping children survivors of domestic violence. A.S.K. is kicking off its new website along with a PSA TODAY and I wanted to be sure to get the word out. Please take time to read the interview below and pray for A.S.K., Hopeful Hearts and the Maria Goretti Network as we come together to spread the message of HOPE for survivors!
1) What drove you to form this new ministry?
Shannon that is a good question. What drove me to start this ministry Ask Seek and Knock was my family. After going through the trial of my brother in-law who killed my sister back in December of 2009 and having to deal with the emotional trial that our family faced in dealing with her murder and raising her children.
I desperately needed some type of avenue to go to for help. We received some hep from the public and counseling from The Healing Place in Conroe, TX, which was an idea of my friend Fr. Chris from our parish at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Conroe, TX, but we needed more help with the kids and for the kids. We searched and searched and there was no place to turn.
One night as I was asleep dealing with all the stress and pain of our loss. I felt the Lord say rise up and say “We must do something about this.” I got up and started writing down what I felt HIM telling me to do in a power point presentation for the Archdiocese of Galveston Houston, TX.
After almost two years knocking on their door and having other people looking at the project and getting turned down many times I finally got a meeting with The Family Life Office back in May 2011. They told me to start a Non Profit Origination that they possibly would back it if I had a plan. I spent a year trying to figure out what to do and how to do it.
Ask Seek and Knock was formed this year in August 2012. Now, the nonprofit paper work is still in the process. A.S.K. will make its debut in Arlington, TX at the Catholic Marketing Network Trade Show on August 28th through August 31st 2012.
My goal with A.S.K is to help children, and young adults\ parents get educated on the topic of domestic violence and suicide to know the signs if they or their loved one is in a violent / abusive relationship. I would like to also offer retreats, summer camps, and scholarships through Ask Seek and Knock.
2) Your sister was a victim of domestic violence/abuse, looking back were there signs that maybe you didn’t know to look for you weren’t aware of at the time?
Looking back, I believe that there were signs but I did not notice them and I really wasn’t educated on the signs of abuse until now. I wish that at the time when she was alive that I would have known the signs. I really believe that if I knew the signs earlier that she would still be here to see her kids grow up and go to college. Now through A.S.K. the person and their families who have gone through domestic violence and suicide have a place to go to the get the resources that they need for help. I also hope that with the letter that I have written to the Cardinal of our Archdiocese that someday Masses will be offered at every parish for victims of domestic violence and suicide to help in healing process of the family.
3) What advice do you have to give to those who might be in an abusive relationship right now?
I would tell them to get out of the relationship. That being in a relationship like this is not where God who created them and loves them so deeply wants them to be. God wants them in a relationship where the man and woman respect each other and love one another as HE loves the church. If they feel they are ‘stuck’ in the relationship all they have to do is ASK anyone around them for help, a family member, co-worker, teacher, priest even reach out to organizations such as Ask Seek & Knock, or like this website (Hopeful Hearts) or to the Maria Goretti Network and they will help you find the help you need. If you are being hit, verbally attacked or if the significant other is overly possessive please recognize that is not a healthy relationship.
4) For the parents and siblings of those who know their loved one is involved in an abusive relationship, what can they do to help get their loved one help and away from the abuse?
Be a listener first. Speak up if you see that something is wrong with their family member. Do not judge them. Be compassionate. There are women shelters and free counseling in their area where they can get help. Also don’t be afraid to go to your local parish or church and ask for help and guidance from your pastor or priest. Also check out my website www.askseekandknock.net for some resources.
5) Unfortunately, as in the story of your sister, some victims do not make it out of the relationship alive. What advice do you have for the families that are left behind in the wake of this tragedy?
Don’t give up on God! Trust in Him, for God is with you always and HE will never leave your side. I know that right now you might feel that you are in darkness and there seems like there is no light at the end. I am here today telling you that there is hope in the mist of darkness. I was once was there and I know how it feels.
Get plugged into your community,and get help from your parish or church. You are not alone in this fight. If you are a grandparent and you have to raise children who have just lost a parent there is a 3 day grief summer camp that helps children with lost called Camp Erin. For the parent who has lost their child from this type of act or acts there is a program called Grief Share . It is a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone.
I would also tell them to remember their birthdays and something special every year for different occasions and to remember them on Mother’s Day and Christmas. I know that will be hard the first year but as time goes on it gets to be fun and memorable for the whole family. Also, have a Mass said for them. Any prayers that you offer up for them won’t get lost for they are also heard by the Father and always answered. The last advice I would give to a family would be that even though a part of your family is missing that person is always with you in memory, in love, and spirit. We will all be joined together again with our loved one’s in heaven. For it say’s in the bible for where your treasure is there is where your heart will be also.
6) Your website offers the resources you listed above and others for those who are in a domestic abuse situation and for families who have lost a loved one to domestic violence. What are some of your future goals for the ministry?
I have a couple actually here they are:
- I want to offer retreats and summer camps for kids and adults.
- I would love to have a day of remembrance for a loved one offered at every parish someday.
- I would love to speak at conferences to get other people educated on the topic.
- To offer the coloring book “Color Me Creole “A Louisiana Heritage” in stores someday to raise funds for A.S.K. Color Me Creole helps with scholarship money for children that fall victim to a loss of a parent or through violence.
- I would like to someday meet the Pope or speak at World Youth Day, and other events in the U.S.A.
- I would like to have other people involved in this effort.
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Thank you Tiffany for your heartfelt interview! I personally have been working with Tiffany as she has gone through this process of getting A.S.K. off the ground and Hopeful Hearts Ministry is in full collaboration with her efforts. We know her ministry will offer the help and hope to many children who are suffering the loss of their parents to domestic violence.
Blessings
Shannon