Heart pulses at a rapid pace. Fingertips tingle and sit on the keys resting, waiting, wishing they could type out the words that are destined for the page. Eyes blink. Blink. Blink. Mind goes numb. The words are there, the emotions are bubbling up like molten lava ready to explode. “Show don’t tell,” my professor says over and over and over from memory.
“Humph,” I let out a grumbled burst of air. Twenty years of writing and anxiety threatens to shut it down every time. I push back from the desk and check my phone. Someone new has ‘followed’ me on Twitter. I check out the profile and recent tweets and find that she mentioned working on doing a review for EXPOSED. Intrigued I go to her blog site: Ordinary Servant
I read a few of her reviews but scroll down and am intrigued by her more personal entry entitled “Facing Your Fear” by Pilar V. Arsenec. I read what I’m going through in that very moment. Writer’s anxiety. And then she quoted some advice she’d been given by an author I personally adore – Anne Lamott – “If you’re writing, you’re a writer. Ignore your narcissism and bad self esteem. Write a little, badly, daily, now.”
Oh how I needed to hear that in that very moment. It was late so I put the phone down and picked up the journal I found earlier in the day. It is a journal I began writing in just after I got married, perfect for the new book project. I took the journal to bed and began reading and before I knew it the project began to formulate in my mind in the very same way EXPOSED finally took form. I could finally grasp the direction that God was guiding me to take in working with the delicacies of marriage.
The following day I sat down at the computer, heart beating calmly, fingertips poised and ready to type. The journal was open for reference and instead of a burst of a thousand memories and emotions jumbled up and ready to spew forth the direction was clear and it flowed out and onto the screen like a nice steady stream coming down a mountain. Two pages a day. One page. A paragraph. Just write something, I told myself. Something I used to say when I was working on EXPOSED. All I needed was the push. Thanks to Pilar and her advice from Anne I received my kick in the rear. 😉
Once I got so involved with youth ministry I put behind the days of attending writing critique groups and conferences. God led me into ministry and at the time I felt I had to exchange one passion for another. Reading Pilar’s blog and consequently finding links and tweets to other writer’s blogs, etc rekindled a fire that was never fully extinguished. Ha! That is probably obvious as not even youth ministry could keep me from writing and as many of you have followed this blog now for almost five years. However, there is something to be said in coming together with other like-minded individuals whether it is because we share the same faith, or happen to have the same passion in hobbies, or have small children the same ages and need to commiserate, it is nice to have the validation of those that understand you in that moment.
This morning I woke to find that Pilar wrote a review for EXPOSED and was even more surprised to find out that not only do we have a passion for writing in common but we just might be kindred spirits on many levels.
Simply put it brings me to Psalm 46:11 “Be still and know that I am God.” He will make certain to show up in many ways.
Blessings
Shannon