Today is Tuesday, August 27th. Four days before the ‘big day’. 😉
I turn 40 on Saturday, August 31st. I’ve written about this a few times so if you are sick of me ‘letting you know’ well, I’m sorry. But I’d like you to understand how epic this is for me.
I’m not dealing with the usual “I’m getting old.” turning 40 issue…though I will admit my hips are killing me and I wonder, “Is it my RA coming back or is it just old age?” 😉
No what is so ‘epic’ for me is the fact I made it this far! Actually, turning 40 for me is a personal milestone. I felt the same way turning 21, 25, 30, 33, 35 and every year in-between.
When I was a teenager I never felt I’d live past my teenage years. I had too many friends pass away while in high school. I attended 6 funerals before I was 18. Among those who passed the oldest was 19. They passed away from careless tragedy, car accidents, cancer, and unknown causes.
I lived invincibly all the while understanding mortality. I feared death but didn’t take care of myself enough to guarantee life. For a period of time I feared death, uncertain of where I would end up. Closer to my 30’s I let God in and changed the switch from helplessness and living as if I wasn’t worth life to purposefully living.
When God showed himself to me and I opened my eyes to see Him before me all I wanted was to be with Him. I would live my life daily to be with Him and I haven’t stopped living this way ever since.
At 18, 25, and even 30 I couldn’t ‘see’ myself as 40. What did 40 look like? Where would I be? What would I be doing?
Well, here it is and it doesn’t seem any different than 35. 😉 I’m excited for this 40’s time of life. What more will I learn? How will I better myself and what adventures will come my way? It’s exciting…what’s not exciting is the acceptance that I won’t weigh what I did in my 20’s and the wrinkles around my eyes have doubled and deepened.
I thought about all of this today and realize because of the graces of God throughout the years I’ve gotten better at accepting each day as it comes, even when it comes with age. 😉
Blessings
Shannon