I got over myself yesterday…
And today I ate crow.
I was dealing with a particular issue that I was too embarrassed to admit yesterday but I laid it all out on the line to a friend of mine who set me in my place. In this ‘matter’ I was upset about having to deal with a group of people that had hurt me in the past and hadn’t really offered any apology or recognition to the blatant wrong doing. A few years have passed since this wrong doing and now they were suddenly in my life again acting as if absolutely nothing had taken place. As if no time had passed and the hurt didn’t happen.
My struggle was dealing with being hospitable to this group, knowing in the very core of my spirit that is exactly what God was calling me to, it is exactly what He’s been leading me to speak on lately in Cornerstone which is why I think I’ve been so down lately. I knew that I was blatantly refusing His call.
Upon confessing this to my friend she gave me a great deal of wisdom. She said, “Now Shannon, if this group were strangers, how would you treat them? You’d show compassion and open your house to them. Maybe look at them as strangers and you’ll find it in your heart to get over yourself.”
🙂 *wide eyed, Jesus just called me out look*
She was right. And I did. And it came to me how I could not only accept this group but help this group. Once I began to look at it that way I felt like myself again. I was excited to help this group out and get to know them now.
But today I was informed the group was leaving again. They were leaving before I had a chance to right my wrong.
At any rate we did get to see them for a bit to say goodbye. I took the little time we had to sit and listen and ask questions about their life, amazed at how easily the love poured out on both ends. I say I ate ‘crow’ because I truly am ashamed for my reaction these past few days. I’ve always made a promise to God and to myself that I would not speak out for Him while being a hypocrite by not living out what I speak or write. I’m thankful for the opportunity to get myself in check but I know that I need some personal ‘pruning’ as Jesus guides us in John chapter 15 (the entire chapter!!).
And to those of you that read this or have heard me speak, I want to personally apologize for not standing up to my own (and God’s) standard of Christ-like behavior.
*sigh…I’m so thankful for forgiveness and new days.*
Blessings
Shannon