I pray I do this blog justice. I have only so much time to get it across in the best way without confusing the message for my statements and it is already 1am. God has shown up in such a powerful way for me this morning I want to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS but I am also weary because I want to make sure I am able to get what it meant to me across in such a way that makes sense to someone who isn’t ‘in my skin’ and feeling my frustrations and insecurities. By the way, I am MUCH BETTER thank you for the prayers and so is Candice!! Praise God. The shot worked wonders for her and she was out and about with me all day today.
But before I go there I want to finish up what happened yesterday evening with the Opening Mass. I think if Madrid had a ‘face’ it would still be in shock because I’m not sure they realized how many pilgrims would actually show up for this first event of WYD. Before heading to the Mass we were to meet as a group but most of our group was listening to Christopher West speak and it ran long. I didn’t want to leave anyone out so I went back to our hotel and got the few that didn’t go to TOTB and we went to the Mass early (it began at 8pm we left at 5pm to get a good spot). We walked the streets of downtown Madrid and it felt like we were already heading toward the vigil with the Pope! So many people, I can’t even explain. So let me show you pictures:
We were so crowded people were falling like dead flies on a cow in Texas in August. 😉 It was probably a good thing we were separated from our group because I’m not sure how we would have found a place to put everyone. We are finding out quickly that trying to get a group of 30 in one of the venues is just not going to happen. Fr. TJ came back from having served the Opening Mass and said he had to break the Eucharist up into little bitty morsels, enough for one host to feed at least 20 pilgrims. He estimated he served to 1000 people that evening and even in the end when he was completely out he said at least (it felt like) 100 were calling out to him “Padre! Padre! Por Favor!”…hearing him reflect on this brought tears not only to our eyes but to his as well. They just were not expecting the ‘masses’ like they have here now.
I’ll carry that on into what happened this morning as we tried to all attend Catechesis (a short program of praise and worship music, a teaching from an English speaking Bishop, and then Mass) together. They have so many places to attend Catechesis in our native language and you are supposed to go close to where you are staying. We tried to go early but again it is hard to get 30 people together so Fr. TJ and a small portion of our group went with him to get seats. I stayed behind and waited for the rest of the group. By the time we got there it was a line to get in. Finally someone came out to tell us that there was no more room. Quickly we made the decision to get on the Metro (their subway) and go across town to another location. However, by the time we got there it too was over crowded (even though this one was a coliseum and could hold 12000) so they would not let us in.
Frustrated, the group looked to me to figure out what to do. I was about to tell them we could go find another location and make it at least for the Mass portion when one of my group said, “Why don’t you give us Catechesis here?” A chorus of ‘Yeah’s’ and ‘Sounds good to me’ rang out. Before I knew it half of the group with me were plopped down on the ground and staring up at me while the other half were ‘recruiting’ other English speaking groups that were being turned away from the door.
My heart was pounding out of my chest. Did they really want to sit there and listen to me go ‘off the cuff’ and speak? What was I supposed to say? Before I could even think to protest or THINK at all other groups began to sit down. There was a group of young men from Australia, then a group of young women from (:( I can’t remember at this moment but it was a small island owned by the British), and a few other groups from the USA. Now I was stuck! I grabbed the copy of the Magnificat they gave us that had the Mass readings and began to skim over what the first reading and Gospel reading were about. Thankfully they were both readings that sparked a great amount of ‘inspiration’.
The first being Hebrews 11:1-2, 7-11 beginning with “Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen.” Even as I skimmed I simultaneously prayed that God would give me words to speak. Show me the way, Lord!! Give me the confidence to do this literally with no preparation. Help me make sense! I prayed and read at the same time.
The Gospel reading was Matthew 14:22-33 and it was the story of Peter in the boat and Jesus calling him out to walk on the water. I can do this, I thought, I can make them relate. God will say whatever it is He needs to say through whatever comes to my mind.
I had no other time to think, I had to go! So I went. I stepped out of the boat.
I wish I could go into detail of the message but honestly, it was one of those that once I was finished (I had a volunteer read the first reading, then I said a few words and then someone read the Gospel and I wrapped it all up together.) I spoke only for about 25-30 minutes, the crowd was getting a little bigger as I went on, I was told there was a TV camera behind me filming and I noticed as I spoke that even a group of priests sat down. (Yeah no pressure…thankfully they were nodding at some points so WHEW…thank you God!).
Timing was impeccable because as I wrapped up and closed in prayer they were allowing an extra 600 people to get in the coliseum for Mass! Everyone stood up and headed that way. I didn’t need the praise and affirmation from others but it was overwhelming to meet the other groups and hear what they had to say. This is where I pray I can relay what this meant to me in a raw and honest way.
You see earlier that morning I woke up feeling nervous about my talk on Friday. I took a lot of time off this summer and hadn’t spoken to an audience since May? I had just seen Christopher West the day before and as always he is impeccable in his delivery. I began to compare and let the fear seep in. I knew I couldn’t allow the enemy to get to me this way so I sat in prayer and prayed, “God, give me the confidence and boldness you helped instill within me when you called me to this task years ago. Help me to know I still have it.” As God is my witness I prayed that exactly, that morning at roughly 8:55am. By 11am I was speaking to a crowd on the streets of Madrid.
Who knew I could be a street evangelist?? 🙂
When we were done and waiting in line for Mass the emotion overwhelmed me and I had to step away so that I could let the tears flow. HE SHOWED UP in such a way that to this moment I am still in AWE and WONDER. Oh and SO HUMBLED….. oh so humbled.
I wanted nothing more than to receive Him in that moment and what an amazing sight to see a crowd of people anxious to get into this coliseum to receive the Eucharist!!!
This is only Wednesday, I still can’t believe the people. So amazing. By the time we got out of Mass and then waited 2 hours to try and get a bite to eat we didn’t get back to our hotel till nearly 4pm. I wanted so badly to go to confession. After what I experienced this morning I wanted nothing more than to have a complete CLEAN SLATE before my talk.
Candice and I headed to the park where they had many concerts etc and went to confession.
After experiencing and amazing confession with a priest who I felt spoke directly to my spirit, Candice and I basked in the SHADE from the afternoon heat to do our penance and then headed to another park to see a friend of mine who was performing a concert.
It was a great evening to end with a glass of wine, the company of a portion of the group that met us and listening to the beautiful voice of Amanda Vernon.
This day has been amazing and I am so excited to see what tomorrow brings. Pope Benedict XVI arrives tomorrow afternoon and I am set for adoration tomorrow evening!!
Pray for us as we are praying for you!!
Blessings
Shannon