We continue with Jeanna’s voice in sharing the real life frustrations domestic abuse survivors go through and the GRACE and MERCY God gives to those who are suffering.
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Crying out to God, in deep anguish and anger, I asked Him how this could happen. He spoke to my heart, “It’s because this world is
Well, that’s precious if I didn’t want justice for right now, for all he has done and gotten away with. What about now?
I didn’t have the answer for those things when he was found not guilty of strangling me and when he got away with hitting our son. I don’t have them now, while I deal with the residual effects of a broken system, being broken while co-parenting with a broken man, and trying to guide my son to God to heal from his brokenness, too. And when we know that it is God that allows those devastating circumstances in our lives, how can we believe He is good? How can we believe He cares? How can we believe we can trust Him?
As domestic violence survivors, trust is something that does not come easily. Sometimes, it can be earned. Sometimes, it takes a lot of prayer, battles and strife to break down the walls that guard our heart because we are afraid to hurt again. So how can the God, someone who claims me as His own, my Creator, let this happen? If He’s my Perfect Father in heaven and the Lover of my soul, then what gives?
Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe it’s because of the time I lost my temper, the time I swore under my breath or all of the people I have slept with. Maybe it’s me. Because God is holy and perfect, so why would He ever forgive or love me?
But then His word pierces my heart – and this is why it is so important to have the Word of God hidden in your heart – not just so you won’t sin, but because you can know the truth of who you truly are, regardless of what your circumstances tell you (Psalm 119:11; 1 Corinthians 1:30). And He reminds me that He is working all things for my good and His glory (Romans 8:28), that He is close to my broken heart and “saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He draws near to me despite the anger I have. He draws near to me despite the doubts I have. He draws near to me despite the brokenness and disappointment. And He yearns to heal me, to love on me, to speak the truth into my life. But, I have to let Him, I have to believe it, and I have to take it, despite my unbelief. The best news? This is true for you, too. Because God wants this for you, too.
Thankfully, none of those things have to happen in our own strength. On my own, I am bitter, angry, resentful, broken, devastated and so much more. But because I am a child of God, I can absorb my true identity. The one that tells me I am His (Galatians 3:26). The one that tells me I can’t see everything He is doing – that I only see the visible (2 
Corinthians 4:18, Hebrews 11:3, Colossians 1:16). That I’m not fighting flesh and blood but rulers and principalities of the dark world and I only need to trust in Him (Ephesians 6:12). That even though circumstances can be really terrible, God is using me to help others in their suffering, to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and is preparing me for the amazing, wonderful plans He created for my life long before the earth was even created (Romans 5:3-5, 1 Corinthians 12:27, Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 8:22-27, Psalm 139:13-19).
Psalm 34:19-20 tells us that, “The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers [His children] from them all.” So, although I do have many troubles and the deliverance and justice don’t come the way I want and when I want, I have chosen to trust God – who He is and who He says I am. If that is not bold and radical, I don’t know what is. But what I do know is that I don’t want to miss out on a thing He has for me, and I’m praying you feel the same way; no matter where that takes you.
If you’re interested in an outline of your true identity in Christ, email me at jtinney1116@gmail.com! I would be happy to send it to you. It is a game changer and will radically change your life.
Jeanna Tinney is a woman after God’s heart and lives in the Northeast with her son. She loves traveling, sports and hopes to open up a satellite office of Hopeful Hearts in her area!
Blessings
Shannon
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