I’ve been taking boxing lessons with my husband and have thoroughly enjoyed getting to let out some aggression on the bags AND get in the ring and put all of the combination punches to action on a live person! Unfortunately, in these past few weeks it seems I’ve taken the need to ‘punch someone’on myself. I do believe this journey that I am on this Lent is helping me to take a magnifying glass to my daily interactions and see the many needless ‘to do’s’ that can be scratched off the list in order to refocus and get back to listening to God’s call instead of everyone else’s.
Don’t get me wrong, my ‘vision’ is still blurry. I haven’t found quite the right perscription yet to feel comfortable in moving forward without stumbling. What has helped is taking Lent daily. I know that sounds obvious, but what I mean is that by the prodding of my new spiritual advisor he said to take the penance I offer for Lent on a daily basis AND offer whatever it is I’m doing or giving up for someone or some cause, etc. By doing this I have entered into a new layer of refining.
What I know I need to work on is to not take so many of the necessary ‘to do’s’ in my day as such obligations that I feel drawn to do nothing when I have a free moment jsut because I feel like I deserve it. Please, let me explain. I DO believe I deserve time to just ‘chill’ and have ‘me’ time BUT what has happened in my mind is instead of taking some of that time to write I feel if I don’t take the opportunity to relax I’ll never get the chance again. By having this mindset I have walked away from writing all together. Even by failing to offer a blog daily and focusing on the ways in which God showed up for me or I for Him I have become ‘lazy’ and my inner compas of direction is haywire.
Originally I gave up writing blogs 365 days because it became a chore instead of a joy. But I did enjoy the ‘focus’ it gave, though it took the time I could write away from actually writing. UGH…I know, this blog is senseless and needs FOCUS! 🙂 Okay, though I have managed to spend more quality time with my husband and kids I think now God is asking me to look at the hours in my DAY and redesign what my typical day will look like.
I don’t know what has been holding me back because I do know for certain God will be faithful in giving me ‘me’ time even when I spend so much time doing what He has called me to do in writing and the mission work. He has always been faithful. 😉
We are nearly half way through Lent. Where is your focus?
Blessings
Shannon