There will always be days that are not full of sunshine smiles, chocolate kisses and tight embraces. This was one of them. 🙁
Interestingly enough I began to write a blog entry referring to a conversation I had with Ryan yesterday about ‘conforming’ and the difference between being a ‘leader’ vs. a ‘follower’. You see I guess that was the message yesterday – God doesn’t call us to conform but rather to go against the grain. I wanted to say don’t conform to the ‘world’ but that isn’t a fair statement when the world is made up of YOU and ME. Rather, a more accurate statement would be don’t conform to your family, friends or neighbors ‘ideals‘ of what they ‘think‘ brings joy. The irony is unless we are trusting in God to bring us that true joy then we are all ‘conforming’ at least a little bit because we look to our family, friends and neighbors to validate us in some regard.
I never did get to write yesterday’s implied entry, however, the theme ran over into today. For the past few weeks I’ve personally been dealing with an issue that is too sensitive to write in detail on such a public blog. The issue is in regards to taking a stand – going against the grain– and doing whatever it takes to be a voice for those that are too weak or incapable of speaking out for themselves for their better well-being. It is an issue that no one else wants to touch because it’s messy.
No one likes messy. Which is another reason why conformity seems to be more popular because it’s disguised as easy (yet the depression rate in the United States is skyrocketing and it’s estimated that by 2020 depression will be the 2nd leading illness in the United States). Living with depression is not easy. I know, I’ve been there. I had lost myself in reaching for what others had or what I thought I should have and a the same time battling this need because it didn’t make me happy. Honestly, giving all of this to God was out of complete desperation because when I looked in the mirror there was nothing there – just a nameless person.
Focusing only on what God asked of me and what God wanted of me – turning the conformity to His will – and going against the grain of the world – was like Cinderella slipping on the glass slipper. I had lived in a ‘backwards’ world all along and suddenly the true ease and peace of going with His flow brought me back to me.
To some family, friends and neighbors I might appear to be going against the grain, stirring up trouble, and ruffling feathers but I do what makes me truly happy and that is conforming to His will on a daily basis. 😉 It is my prayer that my children will one day find this truth for themselves.
Oh how I pray. 😉
Blessings
Shannon
Source: Depressionsymptoms101.com (taken from Depression Statistics)