I realize I have been absent lately. Know that many great things are brewing in this beautiful mind ;)… but continue to keep me in prayer. Many changes are happening in my personal life as well as with Hopeful Hearts. Be sure to stay tuned as we will soon have a new website to peruse! Until then, I had a young man ask if he could guest post today and I figured I’d oblige. Feel free to check out Patrick’s bio and leave him comments:
I woke up this morning with an idea to write about something that plagues a lot of people’s minds. A lot of people do not know how to act or speak to someone who has been so abused, beaten, or defeated that they find themselves at a loss for words. Even those that are close to the abused. They want to reach out to them, but they’re unsure of the best way to go do. By having an idea of how to reach out to these individuals, so many are better able to connect with them when the connections are important and can do so much.
Victims of abuse are their own special type of person. They are not alone, and those around them love them. However, whether speaking to them right after the incident or speaking with them during the healing process; there is a specific way that anyone can go about being able to soothe them and make them feel comfortable during the conversation. This all should not go without saying that every person and situation is different and the person may or may not speak with the person trying to reach them. Calm, compassionate care is necessary and patience because every person speaks, reaches out, and heals in their own time.
Approaching the Individual Still Being Abused
Not everyone is going to be happy with the level of help that others around them are giving. The person may even be in denial and make excuses for their abuser. This can become frustrating for the person who is watching the abused person being abused, but not able to get the help they need or perhaps not being able to see that they need help in the first place. It is also important that the person does not push the other. People are not going to respond well to being pushed into something. They have to come to the results on their own. Many may have wanted to ask for help, but were unaware of how to go about it. Opening a line of trusting, safe conversation may be the way to stop the abuse.
Make Time for Them
This is one of the biggest things that so many people do not get. When you know someone is in an abusive situation, or even if you don’t, making time for them is going to give them a way to get out. Leave enough time for the person to open up to you and ask for help or request help in another way. The environment should be a calm one during the conversation.
You Start the Conversation
A lot of people who are being abused do not want to open up to someone. They may feel afraid to let someone know what is happening. They may not know who to trust or what to do next. They may also be afraid of their life still. When this is the case, you want to open up the conversation first. Be calm and do not blame them for anything. Have a clear plan of action for them to take and follow through with that offers safety and solace. This will allow them to feel much more confident and comfortable with leaving the abuse situation they’re in.
Listen to What They Say
Listening is the number one thing that anyone can do when a victim of abuse is speaking to them. By having an understanding of the person, what they are going through, the help they need, and more; those that are trying to help them can be able to do so easier. Plus, listening shows that you truly care what happens and that you want them to get the best. Just by providing this support, it is showing that they are valuable and they do matter.
Believe and Do Not Judge
When the victim is telling you their story and how they feel, do not judge them and believe what they say. You’re able to ask questions while they confide in you to get more details, but it is important that they know you’re a safe person and in a safe zone. Judgments should not be welcomed in this safe zone. Many victims feel that if they find someone to tell, the person that they tell is not going to believe them. This means that it is going to make telling something much harder. If they come to you, listen, make it a judgment free zone and believe in what they say.
Help Form a Safety Plan
A safety plan is going to help the person overcome their fear of leaving. They may have thought that they did not have a way to get out. They might fear for their lives, the lives of their children, or the lives of their loved ones. By making everyone aware of what is happening, you can reduce the chances of having anxiety because of this. A safety plan gets things in motion and allows the person to take the move step-by-step. The person is much more likely to get the help they need to leave the abuser or attacker if they have a way of knowing they have a place to go, that it is safe, and that there is a plan in place. Make sure you’re their backup in this case. Let them know you are here to help, to get them out of anything, and they can come to your house, no questions asked. This provides a safe haven for anyone dealing with abuse.
Statistics of Abuse
It is important to keep in mind the statistics of abuse that happen on a daily, monthly or yearly basis. The numbers are astonishing, and they continue to rise. With more awareness of this abuse, hopefully, the numbers can be reduced.
● 30% of all couples struggle with some sort of domestic abuse
● 1 in 4 women experience some sort of domestic violence in their lifetime
● Two-thirds of the victims report that the perpetrator had a problem with alcohol and substance abuse
● 74% of Americans know someone else that has been in a domestically violent relationship or who has been domestically abused
● Women between the ages of 18 and 24 are most often the victims of abuse
● Every minute, around 20 people are being physically abused by a partner or someone that they are close with Watch for the warning signs of abuse in those close to you.
If you notice any of them, try to make the person being abused aware of the situation. Make sure you do so in a safe environment, away from the abuser. Abuse is not their fault, and they shouldn’t be made to think it is. If the person is being abused and requires help, speak with law enforcement officials. They can provide the protection necessary to ensure that the abuser does not come near the abused individual.
Full Name: Patrick Bailey Email ID: firstname.lastname@example.org Website / Blog URL: http://patrickbaileys.com Social Profile URLs (all): Twitter: https://twitter.com/Pat_Bailey80 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-bailey-writer Google+: https://plus.google.com/112748498348796236865 Author Bio: Patrick Bailey is a professional writer mainly in the fields of mental health, addiction, and living in recovery. He attempts to stay on top of the latest news in the addiction and the mental health world and enjoy writing about these topics to break the stigma associated with them.