I’m sitting on my couch, trying to watch a movie and I can’t concentrate. The house is quiet.
I’ve only been home two hours and it is no different if both boys had other plans for the day. Why am I so unsettled by this quiet? Neal isn’t here to make me laugh or even take up room on THE couch to watch golf. He is golfing so it’s just me.
Alone in the quiet.
I think about the hectic days I wish for moments like this. I also recall the many ‘lessons’ God has given me in the past two months to embrace a moment such as this. Mainly, learning to hear and listen to my own voice.
On the ride home I tuned into Oprah radio (say what you want, I had 4.5 hours to kill and was intrigued by the Life Lesson broadcast.) One point that touched a tender spot with me was to not let the joy of an accomplishment be pushed aside by rushing to move on to the next. Success is cyclical and even as it comes there will be moments where it is dormant for growth. To endure the cycle embrace the joys, both big and little.
I thought about the many emails I’ve received, the videos that are coming out, the CHARM… So many blessings that are purely Divine Province. Have I stopped to embrace them or have I kept going for more and more?
Same with my kids, when they were little I would rejoice in the first smile, first coo, first crawl, first word, first step, etc etc. But as they got older I began to take their accomplishments for granted. Something almost to be expected instead of rejoiced.
All this sits with me in this quiet and I am not taking it for granted. Even these few hours before Neal is back, before I’m surrounded by friends, or even lost in the throes of a new book idea, I will accept this moment of quiet as a gift and reflect upon the accomplishments I’ve rushed past in the year.
Lord, help me to take in the moments, one by one, large, small, even the merely fleeting ones that others might not ‘catch’ but they connect for a reason only You and I will share. Help me to receive the joy they bring, the thrill of having done something that was at least right to me and maybe another, or to witness the happiness that my kids experience when they’ve done the same.
Through Jesus Christ I pray and witness. Amen
Blessings
Shannon