Our McGraw family is rather large and quite, how shall I say this, eclectic. 🙂 Uncle Garnet was the 2nd to the oldest of 5 children and among him and all but one of his siblings all had at least 4 kids, some up to 8+ kids.
Seven years ago their mother, my Sweetgraw, passed away and it’s been that long since I’ve seen many of my cousins.
I spent the day getting to catch up with my cousins, finding out about divorces that I had no clue about, children born, and other various accomplishments and even some setbacks that every had lived through over the past decade.
At the end of the day my aunt had sat in the same spot without moving and looked a little relieved when the crowd seemed to dwindle away. I asked her if she wanted to change and get into something more comfortable and she replied, “I’m afraid to move. I will eventually but right now I just need to stay here.”
58 years she was married to Uncle Garnet. I think about Neal and I about to celebrate our 17th anniversary next weekend and how much we’d lived through and conquered in less than two decades. I’d be lost without Neal. I’m certain the void of his presence was the same as waking up in a new world. Leaving the seat she’d found refuge in for the day was like taking a step directly into the void.
I don’t know what it is about funerals but they can bring families close, heal old wounds, instigate reconciliations and, unfortunately, ignite fires.
Today was an emotional day and I think it might be best to share what I felt called to share about Uncle Garnet at the funeral…to remember at this time how much of an instrument of peace he was to his family and how important it is to live in remembrance of him.
Commemorating Garnet McGraw:
SMILE – that is from Uncle Garnet
When I prayed about what I could say to epitomize who he was in all of our lives as brother, father, uncle, grandfather and friend I kept seeing his smile and then I felt as if he said, ‘Just smile and tell them it’s from me.’
Uncle Garnet was literally 1 in 600,000 – he survived a lightning strike! To us he is not a statistic but simply irreplaceable. He survived much in his life and I believe it’s because he had a purpose he needed to live out for the rest of us.
For a man of few words his purpose was how he lived and who he was to us. Aunt Tickie made the comment to me last night that he was like a saint to me and she’s right. – he was. Though I’m sure he made his mistakes in life, he was not immune from being human, I believe he lived out the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:
He was an instrument of peace.
When others hated he showed love.
When someone he loved or was close to him injured and did wrong he gave pardon.
When so many around him had doubt, he had faith.
He was hope in times of despair.
The light in the darkness
His smile when there was sadness.
He consoled and rarely sought consolation.
He understood and listened instead of seeking to understand.
And he LOVED without demanding love in return.
There will be a void in our lives with Uncle Garnet’s passing. The best way to honor him is to live in remembrance of him – love as he loved.
And remember – SMILE
*****
A blessing for me today was also getting to have a decent conversation with my brother, Kenny. I’ll be honest, it’s been a long while since we’ve managed to try and be on the same page, or at least tolerate one another’s ‘pages’ enough to set outside circumstances aside.
In remembrance of my uncle I chose to let go of ‘being understood and instead tried to understand’.
May we all take the time, courage, and patience to be an instrument of peace in our families…and if it is beyond our realm of capability and fortitude then have the grace to receive what is the reality – that we all are in charge of our own free will and sometimes we have to let go because it is not in our power to change others.
May Uncle Garnet rest in the peace of the eternal promise of Christ.
Blessings
Shannon