It’s amazing the fog the enemy can put over you through doubt, insecurity, and resignation. What is more amazing is the way God can blow it away with one prayer.
I went to bed knotted up and frustrated and woke to go to adoration at 4am. Within adoration I prayed for all the people I have on my prayer list and then sat down to journal my own prayers. In the beginning it was like I was writing each word mechanically. The frustration really had me in a vice but as I continued to press on and lay out all of my worries the pen began to flow to paper and connect with my thoughts.
God wants us to unleash everything that we deal with on a daily basis so he can make clear our path. Once I poured it in prayer I began to see clearly. It reminds me of a journal entry I wrote years ago the day after my grandmother passed away. I was in Arizona at a LIFETEEN conference and the day she passed experienced and amazing spiritual event. The next day I couldn’t sleep and went for an early morning hike:
(Excerpt from the chapter “Running the Race” in REDEEMED)
5:41am Lord, I am a witness to your majestic canvas as I sit on this rock on what I would consider a mountain…others probably a hill. The sun is barely edging into the horizon offering a pale orange backdrop to the mountains before me. It is a beautiful sight. You are a beautiful sight.
You promised I would see you in the sunrise and I certainly am. You promise so much and you always deliver. Now it’s changing to deep coppers and reds. A blanket of thick clouds hangs just high enough above the horizon to give the sky a sense of protection. Lord, you know what I see most as the sun continues to edge up is the illumination.
With each minute that passes it broadens the horizon shedding light on more of the world around me. As I get to know you more and allow you to shed your light on my path I am given more understanding, wisdom, strength and trust. And all the lights that were in the city that seemed to take away from the brilliance of the sunrise now are so dim they no longer hold a threat to the beauty of what lies before me. Just as all the ‘worldly’ things that threaten to keep me from your light grow dim as I seek you more.
Thank you, Lord, for this awesome display of your love and gift of beauty. Yesterday was hard. I will miss Sweetgraw and I’m selfishly sad because she was my support, the one who ‘got’ me. I know she was tired and is happier with you. You never cease to amaze me and I am grateful for your generous message and love. As I lay my grandmother to rest help me to hear you, to reflect you and guide others in their journey of knowing you. Most importantly help me to help my family so I don’t let Sweetgraw down. I’m blessed. [/box]
We will all have our moments of weakness the key is to keep looking up.
Blessings
Shannon