The response from yesterday’s post is overwhelming. A few of you were even brave enough to leave a comment (thank you) that offers even more insight and advice. If you havent’ had the chance to see the comments or the post I encourage you to check it out: As We Forgive
Neal is so funny, he said, “How come people don’t comment on your blogs?” I turned the question around and said, “How come YOU don’t comment on my blog?” He got sheepish and said, “I read it every day but I guess what I’d want to comment I wouldn’t want everyone else to read.” Exactly. I receive email and FB messages daily with ‘comments’ and I want you all to know I adore each and every one of you and appreciate the courage it takes to comment and contact me in any way we have available. 😉
As promised I have a young woman’s survivor story. She is 20 years old and I met her about 5 years ago when she introduced herself after I spoke at a conference. She contacted me some months later and periodically we keep in touch and work through a few things. I think what she has written is important to share because it is her truth at this time.
It was a dark and cold night in the city, nothing too out of the ordinary. I had just graduated high school. It was time to celebrate and get ready for college. I was finally about to be on my own and I felt free. So much change was happening all around me. I wanted to try something different; get out of my comfort zone, so I went with a friend to somewhere I have never been before. It was that night that I was taken advantage of.
One minute I felt as free as a bird, and the next minute my innocence was torn apart. I thought my world was over. Everything around me just fell to pieces. My mind was always racing constantly with horrible thoughts, thinking that it was my fault, that I shouldn’t have even left the house that night. It turned my world upside down. I became distant with friends. I had frequent mood swings. I stopped eating and never slept. I became depressed and isolated myself from the rest of the world. No one knew what was going on. I was a scared, broken little girl desperately pleading for help. I felt alone, lost and more scared than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
This night changed my life forever.
I see the world differently now. I’m coming to terms with what happened and I’ve learned that it wasn’t my fault. I’ve learned that everything truly does happen for a reason and that you should never take things for granted. I learned that God hurts when we hurt and He provides people and places of healing and comfort when we are hurt by others.
I am grateful that I have been through what I’ve been through, because it has made me such a stronger person. Even though I was absolutely furious with God for letting something so horrible happen, I still give all the glory to Him. At the time, I didn’t understand why God would put me through something so horrible. I always thought, “What did I do to deserve this? Why me?”
It took me years to finally comprehend what had happened completely. I was in denial for an extremely long time. I didn’t want to accept what had happened. I thought it made me less of a person and that I wasn’t deserving of help. Years later I realized that God brings good from everything. Life can really suck sometimes. Things may never seem to go as planned. It may seem like your world is just falling apart and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
I understand that life can be difficult and unfair, but I am living proof that hope is real and that things really do get better. I put my faith and trust in God. Letting go and letting God take control was one of the most important things that I have ever done. It healed me so much. Even though I hated Him for letting me go through what I went through, I knew deep down that He would save me from my misery, and that’s exactly what He did. [/box]
This young woman and I often have conversations about ‘things happening for a reason’ and if God ‘made’ this happen. I do not personally feel God ‘makes bad things happen for a reason’. I do believe we were all given free will and with that we get ‘caught’ in other’s bad free will choices. This is a subject that goes around and around with many and it’s not a debate I like to get into. One truth I know for certain – God brings good from everything. He makes all things new.
I admire this young woman for her courage to share her story. I pray it helps you and gives you hope to know that you are not alone.
Blessings
Shannon