The spirit is already moving and taking the blessings we’ve received in coverage for EXPOSED and the Maria Goretti Network through the Reader’s Choice Awards to shed light on the darkness of so many survivors of abuse. Already myself and Miguel (co-founder of MGN) have been contacted about interest in chapters in Arizona and Georgia. Please pray we can move forward and help those interested install chapters close to them so they can continue on their journey of healing.
If you are interested in beginning a Maria Goretti chapter in your hometown please do not hesitate to contact me shannon@shannonmdeitz.com or Miguel forallvictims@yahoo.com. That is what we are here for, to help see that these networks can be established all over the United States so when survivors are seeking a place to find peer support that we would be able to direct them to a meeting.
Like I said before…God’s grace is simply overwhelming. 🙂
Of course with all of God’s grace comes the enemy nipping persistently at my heels. Man things are just not going his way and I LOVE IT. 😉 But that also means I have to stay on my toes (so he can’t reach my heels!)… being that God brings GOOD out of everything, even when my heel is nipped I get a good lesson out of the pain.
For instance, yesterday Ryan (my-12-year-old-nearing-dreaded-teen-years) and I had it out in the car on the way to school. A few days before he had been reprimanded at school for calling two people two different names. They weren’t bad words, explicit or anything truly defaming BUT they were thoughts that we might think about another when they get on our nerves but we know not to say those thoughts out loud because we’ve been taught manners and tact. Well, apparently, I failed in that parenting role as well because he seems to have no filter and just says what’s on his mind. I was trying very hard to come up with a lecture and punishment that could help him understand WHY he needed to learn to filter those thoughts, even if they were true. 😉 It wasn’t until yesterday morning when we were riding in the car and he said something to ME that hurt my feelings. Though it was a simple truth to him about something I had done for him (and thought I was being nice and crafty) he said what he really thought and it hurt.
That was it for me. I could already envision an array of scenarios in his future 1) he’d say something to the wrong person and get beat up 2) he’d say something to a teacher and get kicked out of the private school 3) he would ruin the good friendships he has. Knowing that my son has a very kind and compassionate heart I knew I had to do or say something now to get him to understand (on his level of thinking). So I said when he chose to say things to people about who they are or what they’ve done that he knows might be hurtful it ‘kills’ a part of who they are. Instantly he began to argue with me saying what he says is only truth. I told him at times, even though it is truth to him it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s truth to others or that they would see it the way he sees it and he has to learn to take other people’s feelings into consideration.
Needless to say, this became a battle of wills because he wasn’t understanding. The good that was in this ‘battle’ was that he insists on being truthful and I am SO GLAD for that… but where do we pick up the craft in holding back at times because that his quick opinion of truth offers nothing good to improve a person?? Finally, I focused on the lesson that our words are like a sword that kills a person’s spirit. I told him to look at me in that moment, upset, not happy, when five minutes before I was happy but because he had said what he did it deflated me and caused me to be upset. (Now this is where I was ‘nipped’ the most.) I told him ‘When we use our words to hurt or cause someone else to feel stupid, inadequate, or simply to try and keep them quiet that is like murdering them because you kill a part of their spirit in that moment.’
He instantly got upset and yelled, “I’m not a murderer!” (Yes, in a few years when he is asking to go to counseling he’ll be telling the therapist his mom called him a murderer when he was 12.) And then he began to cry. 🙁
What did I say? Nip nip nip
We had already pulled into the school parking lot and I got him out of the car, held on to him so he could calm down and I tried to explain I wasn’t calling him a ‘murderer’ but trying to explain how important it is for us to watch what we say to others if there is nothing good that can come from the comment.
*sigh*
He was fine and happy after school but later in the evening I made sure to go into his room and make sure all was clarified. I told him I knew he was a young man that cared for others. That he was compassionate and that I adored these traits about him and when he did things like call others those names or tell me he was not ‘satisfied’ with what I had done for him that it hurt deeply. I know he doesn’t want to hurt others deeply. He nodded in agreement and said he was sorry but that he did understand. He had thought about what I had said all day and knew he didn’t want to ‘kill’ anyone’s spirit.
God is good. Hopefully he’ll remember this lesson for the good and not have it come back to nip us in the heels again!!
Blessings
Shannon