The anxiety still exists when I’m sitting down to write a blog. If you’ve followed me for the last 10+ years you know I’m very transparent in my writing and I won’t allow that to stop. In full disclosure, lately the reason I can’t sit down to write is because I battle with content. So much is going on in the media with #MeToo that I can sense my PR agent begging me to write something in regards to this movement. So it’s the expectation that gets me and I do have a lot to say but it’s  not what is driving me at this very moment.

On rare occasions when I have a radio interview I get that passion back – backing up every single man and woman voicing (for many) the first time #MeToo! I applaud and cheer their bravery and courage. My heart is grateful for this time when the conversation is finally being voiced and what we here at Hopeful Hearts Ministry have been explaining all along is being validated. SO MANY are not speaking out about the abuses they’ve incurred until much later in life. Whether it was out of shame, undue guilt, fear, or insecurity – regardless most have kept their story close and now they deserve not only to proclaim #MeToo but they also need to heal and thrive.

If I was to say one thing to all of those who have taken the step to come forward I’d ask each and every one to commit to seeking help to simply download their experience a bit further and to hammer out any residual lies and fears that could be keeping from thriving over just surviving. Whether it be peer support like we offer at Hopeful Hearts, a peer support group like The Maria Goretti Network, in a counseling program, or even a program such as Celebrate Recovery. It is very important for you to keep that conversation going. Don’t let it end at #MeToo.

I had more to say than I realized ;).  Actually, what has been driving me for the past five months has been what’s going on in my personal life. Dealing with my flooded home, my father in-law’s passing, and even still my own health. As we are still displaced, living in a camper in the driveway, and crowded bedrooms in the upstairs of our demolished home, this close quarters with no real kitchen or place to stretch your legs can be very depressing. Any place of sanctuary where we would have gone to is still a place of loss, my in-laws home feels different.

So I struggle with this inner turmoil knowing I ‘should’ write but not really ‘into’ writing what I’m supposed to write about. What gets me through each day without landing in a pit of despair and depression is the knowing that God has me. God has me. He has never failed to leave me or forsake me. Ever.

This is how I know peace. I have been through much struggle in my life and God has ALWAYS managed to bring a much greater good from it all. Why would He now fail? He is infallible. This gives me a great amount of peace.

So, I know, I will take it one day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time and allow Him to work in the way he does best. I will continue to set my intentions for the day and ask God, ‘What can I do for you today?’…and I will do better at being kind to myself.

I ask the same of you. Take what you are going through one day at a time. And, my friend, don’t be so hard on yourself. Ask the Lord what He wishes of you just for today…it could be he needs you to simply ‘be’ in stillness with him, or he might move you out of your comfort zone and ask you to do something you never thought you’d be able to (or even want to do) but you’ll always find if you are obedient the reward is immeasurable.

Blessings

Shannon

 

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