Crisp blue skies, air perfumed by the magnolia trees, a light breeze tickling the back of my neck and yet the birds melodic tune was a cacophony grating on my spirit. What in the world was wrong with me?
One second I was rested and geared up for anything that came my way and the next unsettled, resistant to what the day could offer. A spirit of frustration, resentment, displaced anger and sadness swarmed my soul like a bee-hive knocked from its resting place, shattered.
I think what made the feeling worse is wanting to hide it’s source but at the same time knowing it can’t be hidden. More often than not when our spirit is gripped with these unsettling emotions we might feel knocked out of left field, and claim ‘I have no idea what is wrong with me!’ but if we reach deep inside we can find the portal to which the enemy found entrance.
Like a Knight in shining armor coming to save me from me God showed up through a very dear and spiritually connected friend of mine whom I haven’t spoken with in months. We used to pray together all the time and we both have had life get in the way. I received a text asking if we could Skype and I jumped at the opportunity.
We both discussed how our spirits were at unrest and discussed how we could best pray for one another. Even as I told her what was going on and voicing it out loud I held onto resistance, frustrated I could feel this way even after all that God has given me.
And that’s the key – my resistance. He is working on me in a great way and yet I resist. I see where my weaknesses are and what grudges and resentments I want to hold onto like a child not willing to let anyone else have the satisfaction of taking them away.
Prayer was key for me today and a swift reality check to get on with it and quit pushing back.
Is there an area in your life that you are ‘resisting’ to let go? Find a friend or spouse to pray with you, sometimes when we are led to share it relieves the pressure. 😉
Blessings Shannon