I received some pretty sound parental advice last night that led me into this day.
After Mass I met with a group of parents to determine a scholarship winner for the Kate DiSorbo Scholarship. We were assembled years ago because of the tragic loss of this beloved young woman, Kate. A few months before the accident she had turned 16 and was coming into her own, living life with purpose and poise.
Her parents, myself and a few other adults that were touched in many ways by this young life have been working together year after year to keep her memory alive and bring a small gift of encouragement and hope to another young student. It was late when we gathered after Mass and dinner and I’d just come from a serious conversation with Neal in regards to parenting.
Earlier in the day we had one of those moments when we recognized we were missing the boat with one of our kids and if we didn’t do something about it right now we might lose the open door of opportunity. Having our ‘colorful’ background of family dysfunction we both agreed we needed to be proactive rather than reactive or worse, indifferent.
When I left dinner we weren’t any closer to the solution but at least it was in discussion. Thankfully God planned an evening with a group of seasoned parents whom I admire and respect. I couldn’t begin our scholarship forum until I got off my chest what was on my mind so I put it out there.
This is when Kate’s dad gave me what I feel we needed for this situation. A simple rule of life that is good for a young man. Stick by these 6 points and you’ll be covered. The key (I’m reminded) is to live them so they witness it in action. Here are the 6 points:
1) Don’t lie.
2) Don’t cheat.
3) Don’t steal.
4) Don’t whine.
5) Don’t complain.
6) No excuses.
Simple. I believe with the life Neal and I have been dealt we have done our best to master these points. I’ll admit…I might have one or two I still need to master but, hey, I am human. However, for what we were dealing with this line of advice was priceless.
This morning before my son went to school I sat him down and told him about what I’d heard happened the day before (I was not there to witness it as Neal had been, however the reason why it was an issue is because we’d been receiving the same behavior at home.) I told him I knew he was a good young man with a good heart and in reality there were only 6 rules he needed to learn to live by right now, especially in dealing with adults. I encouraged him to focus on living by these and if needed if I witnessed any rules broken appropriate action would be taken. 😉
No yelling, no arguing just simple fact and simple rules to live by. This afternoon I saw it in action! 😀 He actually listened?!
Of course, on the way home this evening as he preps me for a low grade I’m about to see on a paper I have to sign he says, “You know how I’m going to be an Engineer?”
I looked at him sceptically. “Yes,” I replied.
“Well, it’s a good thing that they are better at Math because I made another 100 on my test.” I gave him a fist pump and told him good job but waited for the other shoe to drop. He continued, “So don’t be surprised when you see that I’m not so good at where a comma goes in a sentence….no excuses, just fact Mom,” he said and flashed a big smile.
*sigh* 😉
What is your rule of life?
Blessings
Shannon