Awhile back I posted a video blog responding to a reader’s dilemma about her desire to know more about the Catholic faith and how it was affecting her protestant family. You can view the video blog here: SEARCHING
Kaitlyn is a student at Texas A&M in College Station, Tx and has since followed up with some amazing turn of events in her dilemma. She has written me a very eloquent letter explaining where she is today and I thought it deserved to be shared. This isn’t just a message for Catholics…in my opinion it is a message for ALL CHRISTIANS to reevaluate where we are in our call to ‘evangelize’ and why we believe what we believe.
I am currently in RCIA or the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. This is a great class with a long and funny name, but basically, it is a way for people to learn about the Catholic faith. While I have been studying and reading so many lovely theological books on my own for about two years now, I have thoroughly enjoyed this opportunity to deepen my faith and knowledge of God. There are about 100 people in the class! I was not expecting that! It has been neat to talk to so many other people who share a similar faith journey as me. I am not the only one in the universe exploring the Catholic faith! But my road to get here has not been easy. Therefore, I know that it must have been God urging me forward, beckoning me to come and discover Him in a deeper way in the Catholic Church. Last year, for the entire fall semester of my freshman year in college, I wrestled with questions of faith. I felt that I couldn’t talk to my family yet though, so I would just quietly sneak off to Mass and secretly talk to the priests and nuns. I began learning so much about the Church and got to witness many other college students unashamed and on fire for their Catholic faith. I became confident that God was showing me something beautiful and true and bold and worth exploring. However, unsure of the next step, I (like Mary,) kept all these things and pondered them in my heart. I hated being secretive (though my family knew something was up), but I didn’t know how to talk to them yet.
A new phase of my exploration of the Catholic faith began almost a year ago on Christmas break. I finally spoke with my Aunt (who is Catholic and my mom’s best friend) about my thoughts of joining the Church. I had been keeping these crazy thoughts to myself, keeping them hidden deep inside for about two years, so it was refreshing to bring them out in the open. Here are some of the things I shared with her and like to share with anyone who asks why I am joining the Catholic Church.
First of all, the main thing God has been teaching me this year is that He is Love. Everything He does is Love. It is a love that is so much more real than the love of any ephemeral relationship on this earth. And He loves His Bride, the Church! He loves His Church which is made up of every Christian who has ever lived. The Communion of Saints in the Mystical Body of Christ is such a beautiful gift. Two things have helped me understand this gift. First, God operates outside of time and space. Second, I know that every Christian who has lived and gone before me on the earth is now more alive in Heaven. In loving Christ, I have fallen in love with those whom He loves. And just as in any relationship, I desire to get to know these noble Christians who now have the power of Heaven before their eyes. I can ask for their prayers just as I ask anyone on earth to pray! I know that this is a hard concept for those outside the Catholic Church to grasp. Something that helps me though is realizing the immense love Christ has for each one of us and the unity He desires for His children. As the Church, we really and truly can love one another with the love of Christ that is stronger than death.
In this same vein, Mary has revealed herself to me so sweetly and lovingly. The veneration given to Mary has never really bothered me as it does some people, but I just didn’t understand Mary, who she really was and is and how I can know her. I started praying the Rosary and was surprised at the peace it brought me even if I didn’t fully understand the power of her intercession. Then, last weekend I staffed a beautiful retreat called Aggie Awakening through St. Mary’s and we put on a skit for the retreaters. The drama went through all of Jesus life, from the Visitation of the Angel and the Annunciation to His work in the Church today. The Holy Spirit worked through a friend of mine who was portraying Mary and my eyes were opened to see Mary as the loving mother she is. What a pure and holy affection and care she has for Jesus. What intimate conversations they would have shared in the 30 years Jesus was just living life with her on this earth. What abundant graces He must have poured in to her life. Just imagine for a second waking up to Jesus in the flesh every morning. Having the privilege of feeding Him and holding Him and seeing Him! How easily we forget to look to God every day, but for Mary, it would have been impossible to forget God because every day, He was physically before her eyes, holding her hand. Not to mention the nine months she held the savior INSIDE her.
Now that is a powerful meditation. Christ inside Mary. So intimate. She knew Him better than anyone. It was her blood that flowed in His veins and pumped through His most perfect Heart, bursting with infinite love. Living in that close of proximity to God in the flesh, Mary would have been perfected in the fire of His love. She is beautiful and lovely only by His merits. Like the moon, she perfectly reflected the Divine light. Thinking on Mary, how strongly I desire to be like her in my love for Jesus, for God. And if there is even a glimmer of hope that what the Catholic Church teaches about her is true (and I really can have a relationship with her and she really can show me how to love her Son more), then I want in on that! Mary is not scary. She ALWAYS points to her Son. The love and devotion Catholics show her simply reveal their personal desire to love Christ more every day. Right now I am reading The World’s First Love by Fulton Sheen. It is a great book for anyone wanting to better understand what Mary is all about. Bishop Fulton Sheen presents a beautiful look into Mary’s life and the love that she has for her Son and all of us.
Overall, my journey has been characterized by a search for historic truth. Starting out, I wanted to know what the early church taught. If they preached the Eucharist, the Sacraments, Marian devotion, then maybe the Catholic Church was correct. The Fathers Know Best by Jimmy Akin has been a great reference book for finding early church writings.
In the first 400 years of church history, the Bible was compiled by the Church (it didn’t just fall from Heaven!) and there were tons of church writings which explained church beliefs beyond what was written explicitly in the Bible. People didn’t read, so Jesus’ teachings were shared by word of mouth. While not officially “inspired” and included in the Bible, the writings of Church fathers agree with the Bible and with each other on hard theological points. And guess what? They talked about the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist! Crazy! They even talked about it as if it is a commonly held belief and almost took it for granted that it is the truth. I could go on and on about the Eucharist, but here are two books that explain more fully this beautiful truth: The Lamb’s Supper by Scott Hahn, and Jesus and the Jewish Roots of the Eucharist by Brant Pitre.
So what does my family think of all this? Naturally, they have their opinions and disagreements…
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More on Kaitlyn’s family and her journey tomorrow….
Blessings
Shannon