What a day! The remains of last nights blessings were embedded into my core as I prayed for and thought of the several conversations I had with college students and those in their mid to late 20’s that were coming out with the abuse they suffered. When I said I would pray for them I wasn’t giving a line of bull. I meant it and they were on my heart by name all day today.
I find it appropriate that I want to share this first story submitted by lady “M” first because I feel it deals with a lot of what I heard last night just among the group at a small town college and I’d imagine that when this reaches the many among the states that many will be able to relate.
Before I share the story I want you to know that I am trying to figure out how to get the charm FOR SALE on the website! I have my webmaster helping me with it right now. If you want to Facebook me @shannonmdeitz or @hopefulheartsministry and send me your address I can get it expedited without paypal. But I hope to have it up and going by this weekend.
PRAISE BE TO GOD for my good friend and Physician Assistant who checked me out today and took care of me so that I will hopefully be good to go for Sunday morning’s 1/2 Marathon and she prayed over me as well. I love having sisters in Christ who can pray together! 😉
My parents have made a surprise visit too, unexpected so I shall bid you all a good night and I pray that you find a great amount of comfort, peace and encouragement from this story. If you would like to contact the person personally you may email me from my contact form and I’ll forward the message along.
These are just a few of the emotions I felt when my parents started hitting me. I didn’t understand why this could be happening and what I did wrong. I felt like a bad person and I had so many questions. I didn’t know how, at such a young age, to handle such a tumultuous array of emotions.
So I didn’t. I bottled it all up, turned inward, and gave in to the anger, confusion, and pain. I was mad; mad at God, mad at the world, and mad at people. I made a choice to walk away from God, and I turned to the world and all that it had to “offer” including boys, alcohol, and material goods. It turns out that the world is harsh and unfulfilling.
When I was 15, my boyfriend at the time coerced and forced me into sexual activities after I said no. I felt guilty, unlovable, ashamed, and unworthy. I fell into a deep depression, and I wasn’t sure how or if I would overcome all of the hurt, anger, and confusion of emotions. But God is a loving and patient God. Through several wonderful friends and a series of life changing events, I came to know the Lord in a wonderful, life altering, and peace giving way.
As God showed me His grace, love, and peace I came out of my depression and stupor. I started reaching out and changing and went to counseling. Through my relationships with God, my friends, and my counselor, I slowly realized that this was not my fault and started to forgive myself, my parents, and my ex-boyfriend. I also asked God for forgiveness and worth and God has washed me white as snow. Since then, He has never left my side, and has continued with me on the long and continuous journey of healing, self realization, self worth, and growth.
God has also continued to pour his blessings on me. He has given me a wonderful support system of friends and family, an amazing career, and everything I could ever need to make it through all of the tough situations that life brings. Even more amazing, God has used my hurt to help others. Through the changes that God did in me, my parents started asking questions about what changed me. About a year after I came to know the Lord, my parents and sibling also came to know the Lord.
Now, 10 years later, my family is closer than we have ever without anger and with open communication. My parents have not hurt anyone physically since the day they came to know the Lord, and are on their own journeys of healing and forgiveness. God has also used my experiences and story, as well as those of my family members, to help numerous other hurting people know that they are not alone and that there is a loving God who never leaves their side, and who will walk with them through all of life’s hurts. I would never wish the pain of abuse on anyone, but I thank God every day that he uses imperfect vessels such as myself, and that He has the ability to use all things for good.
“M”[/box]
Blessings
Shannon