One brick at a time. 🙂
There is not much time for me to do this update but I needed to make sure I got it out there so that my ‘tone’ matches my mood today – exuberant!
What brought on the change? What was the sledgehammer to the concrete stronghold (aka: fortress)?
Intercessory Prayer
Friday afternoon I had a young woman visit. She has babysat my boys for the past 5 years. Neal and I used to joke that we were paying her college tuition. 😉 She is a junior in college this year and facing a battle that not many of us will ever have to suffer through in life. She has Cushing’s Disease, it is a tumor on her pituitary gland that has caused her hormones to be either none accessible or on some levels just crazy. This morning she had the surgery to remove the tumor and all went well and she is in recovery waiting on a room. Praise Be to God! 🙂 Back to Friday…she came over to get a visit in before the surgery and her lengthy recovery. On the way out I got the distinctive ‘push’ to ask her a favor.
In our visit we discussed the various ways in which she could view God in this time of her life. She is a faithful young woman of God and has amazed me with the strength and courage in which she has faced this ordeal. As we walked to the car I realized this was a moment to help her and help me at the same time. Actually it feels a little selfish now that I’m writing it out…but I can’t help it…it worked!! I asked her to offer up her suffering in prayer for this ‘issue’ that had me in a vice. I couldn’t stop the tears as I tried to explain how much I needed intercessory prayer. Her face lit up and she looked relieved. “Yes! Yes, I will absolutely do that for you. That helps me too. To know the suffering I’m about to go through isn’t just for me.” How SELFLESS of her to do this for me! We hugged, I cried and promised she was in my prayers. Once she left I felt the first brick fall and crash to the ground.
By that next day, two days before she was even going into surgery, I had a ‘breakthrough’. I talked to a friend of mine who worked through a few things with me and I realized that this mental fortress I’ve had built up goes beyond even 21 years ago….it goes to my first real intimate relationship (not even sexual, intimacy can bind people up in so many levels). Memories came back and the agony I went through even then with my first love came back and I realized how deep and long this has been for me. My prayer was finally complete, I wanted to be made whole! I have the desire to be made whole!
This is HUGE for me. If you are not a survivor of abuse then I can understand why this might seem ‘odd’ to you…but I did not have the desire to even pray for the desire to be made whole. I didn’t even want to work on it…I can’t even express why…I just didn’t. But now I do! That is HUGE!! PTL! 🙂
That one step tore down at least half the wall!! No kidding. I still have a lot of work and praying to do but man, what a gift!!!
Never, ever, ever underestimate the power of prayer.
If you want to follow up on my friend and send her messages and prayers please visit this site:
Blessings
Shannon