Nearly every day I have the honor of hearing about someone’s life experience. I hate to call it a ‘story’ because it’s more than just a beginning, middle, and end… it is an ongoing, often quite intricate and detailed, journey. It is how we navigate the journey that speaks volumes to our character.
This week I’ve had the honor to share in listening about a few new journey’s but one not only spoke to my heart as they all do, but truly had me in awe of not only her fortitude but her son’s as well. A woman, I’ll call her ‘V’, reached out to me on Facebook and asked if I had the time to speak with her. We exchanged a few messages before speaking and I found out she is a survivor of domestic violence who desires to help others who have gone through the same struggles.
When we finally connected she informed me she had been in the hospital due to some on-going injuries from the abuse. She stated this as a matter of fact, just as many DV survivors I’ve spoken with over the years who had been brutally beaten, especially towards the end of their time with the abuser. Shattered backs, concussions that affect for life, ruptured insides due to objects thrust in places they don’t belong, or the pummeling of fists in the gut and sides.
Many men, and there are some women abusers too, will result to the physical violence after years of dolling out psychological and emotional abuse. From the experience I’ve had listening to these journeys it is more common for the abuse to be non-physical but based on fear and threats which escalate and ultimately turn to violence when the abuser feels threatened by the retaliation of the abused. And there are some who begin and end with the physical. Either scenario breeds fear.
After many years of psychological, emotional, and horrible physical abuse ‘V’ left. She thought she was free, done. Unfortunately, abuse affects not just the directly abused but the others in the home. The children who witness the abuse are also abused by the violence whether or not it is done directly to them.
A few years after her freedom, one night V’s son was with another family member who was also being abused by her husband and from seeing the same abuse in his home all of his life, V’s son reacted and killed the man abusing his aunt. He is now serving 35 years in prison.
It is V’s son who knew about Hopeful Hearts Ministry (from prison!) and it is V’s son who encouraged her to reach out to me. Why? Not just because she needs someone to be a peer support as she continues on this healing journey, but because V’s son knows V’s heart. He knows she wants to help other women and children in the home to find their freedom.
God has placed on V’s heart to do something. She is not a victim of this circumstance, she is a survivor and by doing something more to help the others who are struggling to break free she will be bringing others into survival and in turn learn to thrive in this world.
I am honored to be able to join V on her journey and help her figure out how best she can help those who are in the predicament she once endured. Maybe God’s calling her to do something for the children of DV survivors… for they are the ones who hold the same guilt and shame through life. These children need to know it is not their fault, that they are loved, and safe.
Please pray for V as she discerns what it is God is asking her to do and keep her son in prayer as well. He made a mistake out of the fear and anger a life living in a home of domestic violence causes. By helping and encouraging his mom to save other families and make that change he, too, is not a victim of the circumstance but a survivor. God bless him.
Blessings
Shannon
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