On Thursday I read the following statement from the Catholic Catechism as quoted by St. Peter: “Faith is a gift of God, a supernatural virtue infused by him. “Before this faith can be exercised, man must have the grace of God to move and assist him; he must have the interior helps of the Holy Spirit, who moves the heart and converts it to God, who opens the eyes of the mind and ‘makes it easy for all to accept and believe the truth.” CC 153
On Friday I left to lead a group of 75 college women who are members of a Christian sorority on a retreat to better understand and embrace the gift of the Holy Spirit. On my way through backwoods Texas roads I prayed for God’s will to endure and the Holy Spirit to show up and show off for these women. An hour and a half into the drive I turned on some praise and worship to feed my own spirit for the days to come. I had about twenty minutes left of the drive when I began to see signs for a particular small town in East Texas. What was ‘particular’ about this small town is that the man who was my last attacker in college is from there and from my last reports currently still resides there. Worse, I had heard rumors he somehow managed to get into law enforcement.
Seeing the signs alone made my mind ‘trigger’ and before I knew it thoughts of being pulled over, having nowhere to go, no way to fight back left me in a panic. All I could hear was his voice threatening and taunting as he did twenty years ago. My chest was so tight I couldn’t breathe but I didn’t want to stop driving because I had to get to my destination where I could feel safe. Thankfully, after all these years I’ve learned enough to have a rational side break through the irrational and convince me to call someone who could understand what and why I was going through this trigger. I called a member of our Maria Goretti Network and all I needed was to talk out my thoughts, hear her say the words I knew and held so true to my heart “Do not be afraid, God is with you.”
I was able to breathe again. I hadn’t had that bad of a trigger in many years. By the time I reached the retreat center I was back to myself, but with my spiritual armor not just ‘on’ but clasped, tightened and ready for battle. 😉 Sure enough within the first 1/2 hour of meeting the young women I learned of some spiritual battles the group was suffering and together, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we worked through the issues that evening and what prevailed was God’s AMAZING GRACE.
The Holy Spirit answered my prayer by showing up and SHOWING OFF! 🙂
I’m glad I had the trigger. It gave me the chance to embrace my inner strength AND remind me that we are one body in Christ and “Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If
I thank God for all the ‘parts’ of His body – my brothers and sisters in Christ.
And now I ask you for your prayers. Last night Neal confided that he is feeling weakness in his legs again (the usual onset when he has had past MS attacks). For Neal to admit this I know it is serious. He is calling the doctor this morning to see if he can get in and catch it early IF it is another ‘attack’. IF it is…then we pray we got to it early so he can go on the IV steroids and stop the damage that is done by the attacks. It has been two years since Neal’s last attack.
Thank you for your prayers!
Blessings
Shannon
