A few weeks ago I had the absolute pleasure of meeting a six year old who lights up the world with her innocence and smile. There is something beautiful about children who say whatever is on their minds and sometimes you aren’t even sure how they come up with what they do or why. We were sitting in a Dairy Queen, she was dipping her french fries into her blizzard and she says to me, “Did you know that when you go to Heaven you get to see Unicorns and meet God and Jesus?”
This simple statement, so matter of fact, her eyes sparkling with wonder, pierced my heart. I felt such a joy at the thought of being embraced by God, Jesus and seeing a Unicorn saunter by… could you imagine? Caught in the middle of my laugh she looked at me and her expression became very serious. “Do you know God and Jesus?”
The boldness was inspiring. “Yes,” I said, “Yes, I know God and Jesus very well.” She was satisfied with my answer and went on about her business eating her ice cream and fries.
I have not been able to get this exchange out of my head for the past few weeks. First, how comforting and beautiful to know she embraces God, Jesus … and unicorns! That this little girl before me, who in many ways could have resembled a near replica of me at that age with the near platinum blond hair and wide, brilliant smile, felt safe and secure in knowing God was someone you should know.
A few weeks later I was sitting in my old childhood bedroom, now my home for a few months until I decide where I am to ‘land’ more permanently, and I sat in a trance contemplating this odd place I’m in. This absolute world of ‘unknown’. I can’t possibly look to tomorrow because it depends on what today brings as to what steps I take tomorrow. I felt God say to me, “Trust in what I provide, in my plan. I will give you what you need.”
Later that morning my mom and I went to an afternoon Mass that was being offered for my dad and my aunt. Attendance was scarce as it was held in the middle of the day. But the impact was both comforting and confirming. The first reading was from Numbers, Numbers 11:4-15. The children of Israel were frustrated and complaining because they had been taken from their home land and all they had to eat was their daily provision of manna given to them by the Lord. They were remembering all they had in their past, all the options that seemed so much better than the manna.
The Gospel reading was Matthew 14:13-21. The story of the loaves and fishes. If you are not familiar, there was a crowd of thousands who had followed Jesus and his disciples but all the disciples had to feed the crowd was five loaves and two fish. Jesus blessed the food and instructed the disciples to feed the crowd…as they gave out portions to the crowd it multiplied and fed everyone with twelves baskets full of left overs.
When the priest gave his homily he pointed out the correlation between the two readings and made the point that in both cases God provided, took care of, and gave each group exactly what they needed to survive. Being that there weren’t many people in the church I felt like he looked at me directly and said, “We can’t look back on what we had or what once was. We are to trust in God’s provision as each day comes.”
I looked at my mom and we both got tears in our eyes. Not that my mom needs physical or monetary provision but she needs a daily dose of courage, strength and comfort. We grabbed hands and squeezed. God has us.
God has us. And we can trust Him when we know Him.
Whatever situation you are in at this time… whether it’s suffering through a trauma or overcoming a past trauma, rest in knowing God has you. Take it moment by moment…sometimes all we can do is breath by breath. You can do this. You can make it to the next breath, the next hour, the evening, and to the next day. You can do this and He will provide you what you need.