It’s 1:15am and I finished decorating the obnoxiously colossal tree in our living room. Well, ‘finished’ is only a relative term to what you might have to put on such a giant tree. I bought plenty of plain red and gold ornaments (balls) and other generic ‘filler’ ornaments so it’s not plain. However, I do miss what I was used to for 17 years. With each ornament taken out of the box it came with a memory.
Tonight my mind is vacant.
There are the few new ornaments that I will have a new memory to start taking up space next year as I pluck them from the storage boxes and for these I am grateful. It’s just an odd feeling to stare at this beautiful tree and feel … nothing.
It’s not just about this tree that I worry about my mind going ‘vacant’ on emotions or feelings. There are moments I wonder if I’m becoming ‘vacant’ to the feeling of disbelief, outrage, and fear. I do think we can hear and see so much of the evil that is done in this world it can dull the sense of atrocity that it should muster in oneself.
Oh, Lord, I pray this is not true for me. I pray I might be outraged with every offense committed against another, no matter how menial or despicable, do not allow my emotions to become vacant.
Today, Seth went in to get his blood taken and the X-ray and EKG. Despite the long period of time we sat waiting to register, and waiting to get blood taken, and waiting for Radiology, and waiting…oh you know you get it… everything went smoothly. Now we wait for the results which I’m sure are normal.
I do appreciate your prayers!
Blessings
Shannon