Today is a special post. Most of it is not from me but the exact words from a friend of mine who is desperate to get out a message. A message that I pray you respond to, whether it be to pray, to become more informed, or to better educate those around you. My friend is a breast cancer survivor of a very aggressive and rare form of breast cancer. Below is not her story on surviving the breast cancer but rather one of surviving unwarranted judgment and anger from fellow Catholic sisters. In reading her story it both educated me (because I did not know much about the ‘talk’ behind breast cancer) and it made me sad – sad that these women are not behaving as God calls us to – with LOVE.
Please take the time to read this message both for yourself and for those that we are called to love:
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Since I was nine years old I have always dreaded the month of October. Looking back, I realize the sense of relief felt as Thanksgiving had passed and Christmas was nearing. Not because of Santa Clause, gifts and sweets that most children were expecting, but because it was almost the New Year.
There is something so hopeful in a new beginning, as if all the pain of the past could be washed away, as if it were true that life had a reset button and
we could hit it and start over. October dread has been my companion most of my life, rooted in the death of my wonderful mother, Eileen, who at the age of 24 yrs old died suddenly, spawning gossip, morbid curiosity and judgment of friends, family and neighbors, a shadow which has followed me into my adult life. Mercy came many years later in the birth of a child. My first child, a daughter was born early in October. The child was a gift, the timing was a gift. I began to notice how lovely October was in Texas, fall colors, cooler weather and the air was crisp. I soaked up joy.
My October dread has reared it’s ugly head again, and with it, gossip, morbid curiosity and judgment seems to continue as it’s sidekicks. Why? Because
in 2007, I was given a shocking diagnoses of breast cancer and not just any breast cancer, Triple Negative Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Not one,
but two forms of cancer each in it’s own right highly fatal, requiring very aggressive treatment with little hope for survival past a few years. God
was merciful and now 4 years later, I am viewed as a “long term” survivor. “Breast free”, as we call in in the post cancer world, I am happy, and I am grateful, but now struggling to once again conquer the month of October.
To be a prolife Catholic woman with breast cancer is a difficult balancing act, pushing me back to a place of dread, where can I hide for that long month?
Hide? Why you might wonder? Hide because of all the pink-washing, silly ribbons, and that October is now Pinktober to many? No, it is because I can’t move about in my world, my Catholic prolife world in peace and comfort for at least the next 30 days, pushing me in to a desert, hoping I can pass through once again to a place of refreshment and peace again. Now I understand why older women would come up to me in church and pull me aside, whispering,
“I am sorry, I had it too” and hurry away. I thought maybe they were embarrassed to discuss breast cancer, in their day, such things were not talked about. Now I understand differently.
Because you see, it is like this. About mid September I start getting emails and messages that everyone who has had breast cancer got this disease due to abortion, birth control pills, not nursing, etc, especially the more fatal types, ie, triple negative breast cancer. Then walking up to the church doors, someone stops me, pushes a homemade flyer into my hand, telling me that this is my fault, my cancer is my fault. Maybe it is my fault. My grandfather smoking Camel cigarettes since he was 11 yrs old sure had a huge factor in his later diagnoses of lung cancer. But my cancer, who knows? Birthing and nursing five children, never having had an abortion, you maybe can imagine the massive shock felt when one day on the church steps a Catholic woman, narrowed her eyes and spat the words to me, “So, when did you do it?” Looking at her, not understanding, I replied “Excuse me. Do what?” She finishes, “Have the
abortion!” and rushes off. I cried for days. Later while getting my first haircut after being bald for 8 months, a woman walking up to me in the salon, and told me she hated me. Again, what??? She continues, “I hate all you “pink” women! You do this to yourselves and we are supposed to feel sorry for you? I don’t, I hate you, this is your punishment for your immoral life.” Wow. I didn’t cry that time. I was too mad. Later, a different woman again asked when did I have my abortion? I told her I didn’t, never did, and have always been prolife. However, I did ask her, if I had once done such a thing, would she forgive me? She said, yes, but she would not forgive my cancer. How do you address that?
Now I know why Catholic women who have had breast cancer don’t talk about it. The gossip, the blame, is so great and the places of peace are harder to
find. Prior to my diagnoses with Inflammatory Breast Cancer in the summer of 2007 I had looked into finding a breast cancer center I could support and
not have any moral conflict. I did not have success. I even approached large prolife groups, asking if we could start a charity that would help women,
removing the moral conflict, but was not able to get any real interest. Then later when I was diagnosed, it was hard for me, as people would tell me
that they donated in my honor to Susan G. Komen and it was a very bittersweet feeling. Grateful for their compassion, wanting to help women with breast
cancer but heartbroken that some of that funding will go to the deepest evil, the killing of a child. Can you imagine how it was for me, later to
be treated at a clinic in part funded by SKG? So I will openly say, I am grateful for what SGK has done that has been good for womens’ health, but
greatly and deeply disturbed by some very unwise, immoral choices made to fund Planned Parenthood.
I have been treated at MD Anderson Morgen Welch Inflammatory Breast Cancer Center. IBC often strikes younger women and does not present with a
lump. It cannot be detected until a stage III. Many of the younger women I have meet with IBC never used birth control, have not aborted
and were shocked at their situation. I have been very active at MDA and I see wonderful respect of life. I have even met ladies who were pregnant
at the time of their diagnoses and MDA did every thing possible to protect the child in the womb, while treating the mom. Abortion was never suggested.
So if any of you wish to do something to change the future of breast cancer, (because I am) I have some ideas of some places you can donate, volunteer or
pray for their success, as you would be helping women who are deep in the struggle for life, their own life. Over 40,000 women die yearly due to
breast cancer, that is the population of my town, Friendswood, TX . Wouldn’t it be wonderful for more children to grow up with a mom, a mom to
share their lives with? I think so.
Have you noticed how the prolife groups had changed their tactics in discussing abortion and how successful it is? Well it is working, and I think we are
long over due to change the way people of faith talk about breast cancer and I hope you will help me.
By the way, did you know that St. Therese’s mother died of breast cancer? Well
she did.
I would like to give you three choices for your consideration.
1) The University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center
Department of Breast Medical Oncology
1515 Holcombe Blvd, Unit 1354, CPB5.3438
Houston, TX 77030
on a memo write IBC clinic, this is the most fatal of the breast cancer and you
would be helping women in the deepest of need.
If you wished to donate there, the money would go to good use, but will be used
for any need that the clinic wishes, (none are immoral).
2) The Rose,
The Rose is the Houston area’s leading 501(c)(3) non-profit breast cancer
organization providing mammography screening, diagnosis, access to treatment
and support to all women regardless of their ability to pay.
A wonderful group, doing good work.
3) Or if you wish to fund late Stage Cancer research, I have committed to funding a trial at MDA. Due the serious lack of education on IBC, I have
formed a foundation. The IBC Network Foundation. I have committed to fund a late stage cancer trial. My efforts have been
written about world wide, and I am hoping to fund more efforts to help women deep in this battle. Below my signature is all the
information of that trial and what we hope to gain. We are hosting our first fundraising events, one in the Houston area and one in Columbus,
Ohio. If you have friends who might like to attend, I would love to see them join us. It is listed under events.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-IBC-Network-Inflammatory-Breast-Cancer-Network/144850145588330
or on the website www.theibcnetwork.org
(and posted on Shannon’s EVENT page)
I hope you have some idea now what it is like to walk in my shoes, to have a cancer that seems to invoke so much anger and blame. I hope to do
something good for women, born and unborn, for a better future for life.
Terry Arnold
Now faith is assurance of things hoped for, a conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11.1
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Want to know more about the clinical trial The IBC Network Foundation is funding? Read below.
A clinical trial for pleural effusion is prepared for launch based off past research results by Dr. Wendy Woodward, an IBC specialist at MD Anderson Cancer
Center. If you are unfamiliar with pleural effusion and IBC please read the following and you will have more education as to this complication once IBC has
impacts the lungs. To develop pleural effusion is not uncommon post an IBC diagnosis. The outlook is only a terrible prognosis and no specific therapies.
And this is a slow death, just not being able to breathe….to fund this project will be of benefit to patients who fight this cancer.
What is pleural effusion?
Pleural effusion is not a disease but rather a complication of an underlying illness. Extra fluid (effusion) can occur for a variety of reasons. Common classification systems divide pleural effusions based on the chemistry composition of the fluid and what causes the effusion to be formed.
Thoracentesis is a procedure to remove fluid from the space between the lining of the outside of the lungs (pleura) and the wall of the chest. Normally, very
little fluid is present in this space. An accumulation of excess fluid between the layers of the pleura is called a pleural effusion. One form of treatment is
a tap of the area which can offer a temporary relief. To develop pleural effusion is not uncommon post an IBC diagnosis. The outlook is only a terrible
prognosis and with no specific therapies. However we hope to change this common prognosis by funding this clinical trial. The trial only needs funding of
$50,000 to be conducted. Once funded, it can begin in a matter of a couple of weeks and completed in three weeks.
Terry Arnold
The IBC Network Foundation
Blessings
Shannon