At first it began in my ears, knocking out hearing from my left side. Now it’s moved to the back of my throat and somehow has found it’s w
ay behind my nasal cavity pressing on a nerve that alerts this pin-pointed spot at the top of my brain. I’m not sneezing. My nose is not running. But I feel it comin’. A darn cold. 🙁
My eyes are droopy and I know the only clear answer for me at this moment is to head to bed.
BUT I didn’t want to ignore this day. Not that anything major or exciting happened but because it still had an encounter that is scratching at my heart. I ran into a youth minister buddy of mine from back in the day. He had moved away to do work in other ministry fields with FOCUS and such and is now back working as coordinator for a rather large conference group here in Texas. I went into a store and ran into him after not having seen him in about 4 years.
It was a blessing to catch up with him and find out what God has been doing in our lives but what hit me was when he told me about another mutual friend of ours in ministry. This friend, who is dynamic, kind and was in all appearances on fire for God, has fallen a very hard fall (spiritually and on a personal level). This friend was ‘busted’ for having child pornography and possibly selling it as well.
My heart hurts to type the news. He is in a federal prison at the moment awaiting trial but already indicted enough to be in the federal prison.
Even though it’s public news I can’t and won’t bring myself to say his name. I pray pray pray with all that I am that in no way did he personally harm a child.
And I’m not sure what hurts more because what this friend described to me was almost obvious that our friend had experienced the same type of ‘abuse/ molestation’ as a child, hence the desire to need to ‘see it again’.
This friend never spoke out. I wish I could have somehow had the opportunity to realize this and help him all those years ago before he turned to looking at images. More than ever I’m validated as to Hopeful Hearts mission. More than ever.
And this news also spoke volumes about how none of us are immune to the fall. Quite literally we need to put on the armor of God, tightly, daily, habitually.
If it’s not a cold I’m feeling then it’s a physical reaction to this news. I’m at odds with wanting to be furious, sick, shocked, devestated, disgusted and heartbroken.
For now all I can do is lift him up in prayer and pray for the poor children who have been victimized for that sick industry.
Blessings
Shannon